


With My Life In Her Hands

by InsanityAtBest



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Canon until certain point, F/F, Femslash, Half-Human, Kisses and Cuddles, Magic, Naive Half-Human, Vilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-06 17:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 30,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1865826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityAtBest/pseuds/InsanityAtBest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Briar Faye has until her twentieth human birthday before she must return to her species and not come back. She goes to Sunnydale University to get the human experience. There she meets Willow and the Scoobies and helps them fight every big bad. Briar falls for Willow and fights to be with her. Read to find out more!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. But You Won't Be Heard

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Let me know if you think Willow is ooc so I can fix it. I would love some feedback so review! My first BTVS can fix so let me know how I'm doing! Also, this is eventual Willow/OFC so Tara never went to Sunnydale. So bye!

I glanced down at my notebook and opened up to a new page.

I titled the page Final Review in my best cursive script. I like writing. I like understanding the human mind. I also like seeing my letters elegantly curl into each other.

One moment I'm copying what notes I should go over for the final test and the next I'm no longer in class.

The hallway is dark and reminiscent of the alleyways that Sunnydale people go through that don't come out. It makes my skin tingle and makes me stiffen my body. I am all alonein this hallway just walking. I don't like this feeling. It feels like a stone has settled in the pit of my stomach.

I continue forward and hear someone humming. This doesn't seem right at all. What are they doing? The humming continues and I follow through the maze of hallways to find out who it is. The humming is high pitched and sounds like a little girl. I follow anyway until I see her face.

She is small: maybe eight. This little girl has blond hair that reminds me of the girl in class I have to stay away from. That same warning of danger comes from this little girl. Her little mouth opens and a song bursts out.

_Can't even shout_

_Can't even cry_

_The Gentlemen are coming by_

My voice starts to blend with hers and I realize this girl is a warning herself.

_Looking in Windows_

K _nocking on doors_

_They need to take seven_

_And they might take yours_

_Can't call to Mom_

_Can't say a word_

_You're gonna die screaming_

_But you won't be heard_

A cold prickly feel starts at my neck and travels down my spine. There's something near. Again I can feel my body stiffen without my control. I turn around and a white bald headed demon is watching with beady eyes like coals and are rimmed in the same smoky glaze. He smiled at me with his hands founding and all I can see are teeth like a crocodile: long, sharp and deadly. He comes closer and...

My vision ends. I stumble out of seat no longer concerned about academics. Other students part like the red sea as I try to get away from psychology. Is this what humanity really does as young adults? Stop and stare at people while they're lost but refuse to help?

I stop in the corridor and have that same lonely feeling that I did in my vision. A shiver creeps down again and I allow myself it.

'Stop being such a baby,' I tell myself. I was so caught up in trying to stop feeling so anxious and afraid that I bumped into someone. I barely fell back a step but I heard their hitch of breath as I grabbed them with one hand as the person began to fall and caught their textbook before it hit the floor.

I looked at the person that I caught and realized she was girl. Her eyes were such a light shade of brown that they seemed almost hazel. Her pale skin only seemed to emphasize that unique wholeness of her eyes. My arm was wrapped around her waist and it seemed very intimate. I could feel a spark where our skin touched and I realized something. My arm fit around her waist perfectly.

I couldn't think of anything to say but this:

"This is when I apologize, right?" I smiled timidly _letting_ go gently.

"That would be of the good," she quipped. "This is when I say sorry for bumping into you too. Sorry. I was just helping my friend get a special friend which kinda doesn't explain it. Sorry. I was helping her talk to her crush and got away so they could talk but instead I bumped into you so sorry. I'm very sorry and now I'm babbling so doubly sorry," she took another breath and I took the chance to say sorry.

"I'm sorry too. I mean for bumping into you. Most people..." I struggled to find the word I wanted.

"Most people?" The redhead prompted.

"They don't come near so I thought that everyone did that," my voice hushed into almost a whisper.

Her small pink mouth frowned into a cute pout.

"Well, I'm different. I mean I didn't see you at first but now I do and wow. Doubly wow. How can anybody not see you?" Her arms pointed at me as if to prove her point.

"I'm not sure what the problem is but here's your book," I handed the textbook and saw the title.

"You have Professor Walsh's psychology class, too?" My voice wavered at the last. I still wasn't used to English. I seemed to elongate each word and forget to breathe between words sometimes.

"I do," she confirmed. "Do you?"

"I do," I copied and she smiled. It was more of a cute lifting of cheeks than showing teeth. It was adorable and I couldn't help smiling exposing unnaturally white teeth.

"I'm sorry again. I forgot to..show myself," She smiled again and looked at the ground before looking into my confused face.

"I said it wrong, right?" I sighed embarrassed.

She picked up on it and the smile loosened.

"It's not noticeable. Not at all, no. You sound almost...natural. No, I mean experienced. Yeah, experienced," she nodded to herself. " The word is introduce though."

"Thank you. I am Briar. Who are you?"

"I'm Willow, Willow Rosenberg. Not like I'm James Bond but yeah..." Willow's voice trailed off embarrassed herself. The arm she had started to extended lowered back down.

"Why did you put your arm up?" I stared at the limb as I inquired.

"You don't know how to shake hands? How don't you know how to shake hands? I mean it's to shake hands. You didn't raise yours so I put mine down." Her cheeks were turning rosy pink and I liked the color against her peach like pale skin.

I extended my arm and smiled.

Willow gave me her hand.

"Now what do we do?" I asked still smiling.

"We shake. Well, at least move our hands up and down," Willow's eyes were wide in curiosity. They were so attention grabbing and expressive that I didn't want to look away.

I gently moved my arm remembering how fragile normal humans are. Her skin was warmer than mine by a couple degrees. It was also very soft. I can imagine that is how clouds must feel. I reluctantly let go of her hand after a minute.

"May I ask where you are going?"

"It depends. Do you believe in magic?" Her relaxed face had tightened while waiting for my answer.

"There's too many unexplained things for their not to be magic," my voice still had a hard time with doing c and k sounds and pronouncing them hard.

"Do you practice it?" Willow stared deeply into my own hazel eyes searching for the truth.

"A little," I confessed. "It's in my family. So can I go?" I tried to sway her opinion.

She smiled the cute grin again and nodded.

"Sure. Follow me."

I nodded and copied her step for step alongside her.


	2. They Don't Know Magic

No The Wiccan group doesn't seem very magical at all.

There are couches and chairs all gathered in a circle. There were no more chairs for me so I sit on the ground with my legs tucked beside me.The carpet is a dark shade of beige that seems dull against my skin. It scratches what skin it contacts and makes me uncomfortable. The jeans most girls wear are either too loose for me to wear or too hugging to my legs. My skirt offers my legs no protection.

Here I sit right in between Willow's legs. My shoulder blades when not covered in hair allow the soft texture of Willow's skirt to touch. Maybe denim is not so bad after all. I cuddle in closer to the chair to chase the softness that touches my skin. I can feel Willow's eyes watching me move but don't look back. Normally I feel alone when these people stare but this time I don't. It's a welcome change.

One girl introduces a prayer. Her hair is frizzy looking like my own texture when I don't roller set. Is t ha t normal? Her hair is red much like Willow's but isn't as shiny and a shade darker: almost auburn. Willow's is a much prettier shade that glows a dark strawberry blond in Sunnydale sunlight.

All the girls shut their eyes including Willow as the other girl begins.

I keep mine open so I won't miss a thing.

"We come together, daughters of Gaia, sisters to the moon."

Is this how all prayers begin?

"We walk with the darkness: the wolf at our side."

A wolf? Seriously? Aren't Wiccans supposed to take power from the earth? I look up at Willow shocked and her eyes are glances at the prayer girl in disbelief. I watch her eyebrows furrow incredulously.

"Through the waterfall of power: to the blackest heart of eternity."

Willow's left eyebrow lifts and I watch her glance around as if to ask if everyone thinks this is real. The other girls faces are relaxed as if praying along.

I look up at Willow and shake my head disappointed. This not magic. This is lies. This is a waste of time. The same unique wholeness of our eyes are still there from the hallway. They have darkened in disbelief but still are a brown I've ever found outside: gentle but wild. We stare throughout the rest of the prayer but I don't know what we were looking for.

After prayer, the first words out of the girls mouth confuse me.

"Let's have a bake sale. I make an empowering lemon bunt," the prayer girl announces proudly.

What is a bunt? What is a bake sale? How can anyone eat lemons?

"I don't know. We need to focus on spreading the message to the sisters. By the way, whose scented candles melted all over my women power shrine?" A girl with long straight brown hair inquires and looks around as if to blame someone.

Willow's disappointment is so thick I feel like I can touch it.

Willow seems not have given up yet. Her mouth lifts in the same grin that exposed two dimples in the hallway.

"Well, this good. This is all fun," I wonder if she's just trying to be nice. I'm not having fun at all.

"Yeah, but there's also other stuff we can be doing that's interesting like spells, transmutation..." the smile waivers when Willow sees she has no support.

Without thinking, my mouth opens.

"Yes, I would like to try those," my accent stands out even more against Willow's. My voice seems almost too husky and too soft at the same time. The way I've spoken brings some warmth to my face. I feel a hand squeeze my shoulder and Willow smiles that same grim at me happy that I spoke up.

The prayer girl with the auburn like hair is the first to speak.

"We don't believe in stereotypes," her tone is anything but kind. Her dark eyes are annoyed and dull glaring at me.

"Do you expect us to try to fly on broom?" The redhead continues and I feel Willow almost recoil as if hit.

The straight haired one is kinder in rejection.

"If even one of the sisters aren't balanced, it could throw off the whole circle."

"They do not know magic," I whisper and it's do quiet Willow only hears as I can tell by the other squeeze on my shoulder.

"I would like to go," I announced trying to sound as clear as possible.

"I came here for help not lemon bunt," I added looking straight at the prayer redhead and her expression is shocked.

"I am sorry, Willow. I cannot stay," I smile gently at her trying to show Willow the kindness she has shown me.

"I would like to keep speaking through," I finish talking and rise quickly.

Willow rises with me and I realize I am a little taller than her.

"Would you like me to help? I mean not that you're not able to help yourself-"

"I would like that. Yes," I interrupted.

We both leave the group room and I can hear the silence in there with our every step.

"That was...wow," Willow suddenly explodes. "Only a couple people have ever done that for me before. Not like that happens a lot. I mean I can stand up for myself. It's just nice sometimes when other people do it too. So yeah it's of the good."

I am distracted when the rays of the sun get in my eye. I close them on instinct. It doesn't burn but it isn't comfortable either.

"You are welcome?" I question. "They are not nice. They don't know magic."

"I am disappointed though. I wanted to work on my magic but...." Willow sighed and shrugged her shoulders messing with the shoulder bag strap.

Willow is captivating. She looks at the floor and her pale skin still highlights the red of her hair. The wisps of her red hair that escaped the brush look almost golden. I almost didn't want to leave but the sunlight was trying on me so I had to.

"I must go. Meet me for lunch at the cafe say 11? We can talk about doing magic together," I say trying to sweeten the deal.

Willow really smiles at me for the first time and it makes her whole face brighten.

"See you there," I start leaving at the confirmation to my dorm. I need my water soon.

"Goodbye!" I exclaim before I'm out of hearing distance.


	3. And They Might Take Yours

I don't like the night in Sunnydale. It is too dangerous for me. I block the windows in my dorm with dark heavy fabric. I liked it at the store. It was soft but dark night to mimic night without going outside. The white bulbs are bright in my room so the light is normally off. I don't need that much light now.

The disturbing men from my vision won't leave. The siren song of the little girl plays like the weird machine's that keep playing. Textbooks are already back in my bag: homework and studying done for now at least for school.

With one arm I reach under my bed to grab 'the book'. I have never known its title. It belonged to family and now it is mine. The pages have yellowed in age and a torn blue ribbon is sewn into the spine. The leather is not as soft as Willow's skirt but now as hard as the Wicca group carpet.

'The book' is mostly about the dangers to us. Each page filled for information on what kills us and what does not. We are not slayers after all. There are brief descriptions. The pages make an annoying sound as I flip through. The song still playing in mind is too loud not to mutter.

Can't even shout Can't even cry . The Gentlemen are coming by

Looking through Windows

.

Knocking on doors . They need to take seven . And they might take yours . Can't call to Mom . Can't say a word You're gonna die screaming But you won't be heard

Just as my singing stops, I land on the 'men' from my vision. Their name is written in bold cursive with letters reminiscent of religion. There is a large painting on the left revealing the grotesque face of the Gentlemen. The sickly pale skin and black eyes disturb me more than ever. People are supposed to be beautiful but they are anything but.

I read the script of an ancestor revealing some of The Gentlemen's secrets. They are supposed to be stories but doesn't every myth come from a hint of truth? She talks of stolen hearts and how the near impossibility to kill. Is that all? Voices make them explode. That is okay. She did not write of them taking our voices so I am fine, right?

A stray thought filled with Willow comes in my head. Tomorrow we will meet and have lunch. I think she is a friend so I will warn her to stay inside. A smile tugs at my lips and it feels funny. I rub my face and apply the ribbon to my place before closing' the book'.

I am not as strong as the others yet so my eyes close without my permission.

_________________________________________________________________________

My eyes open to a little glow of the Sun escaping from my curtain. I hurriedly reach for my water bottles and stuff them inside my bag also. I have no one to share the room so I am alone. People brush their teeth here and apply smell goods so I grab my bag of toiletries.

The people here are oddly quiet today. I don't hear a sound. Don't demons only come out at night? The minty toothpaste tastes good but I still spit it out in the sink. It is not good for me. I hurriedly grab a shower before another girl can take it.

The lukewarm shower is as hot as I can take right now. My hair can not get wet now so I might have clipped on my head. Still some escaping strands are victim to the rainfall of the shower head. I grab my towel because humans don't like nudity and hurry back to my room with my toiletry bag.

The set from two days ago is wearing thin but still form Pringles against my face. Here, you must try to look your best. It is a trying fact to remember. I hardly wear what they call 'makeup'. It is much like gunk to me on people I've seen faces. Eyeshadows in bright colors and lips painted purple are not my thing.

I need to hurry to class to get a good seat next to Willow. Where does she sit anyway? I shake my head and continue dressing. I grab my flats from yesterday and my bag with a hand already clasping a water bottle.

No one is still up. If they are, no one is loud enough to be heard other than whispers and sniffles. A machine is playing nearby and the words are important when I hear education. I listen closer and find that all schools aren't in session until further notice. I hurry to the library to find more about the Gentlemen.

The books there don't smell dusty. They have a variety that I have never known before. There is no one to be found in the library. It takes me a while to find out where the magic books are and that is when I am glad that I am strong because every book is thicker than my arms. The books here are heavy with knowledge and I check out a book of voice spells to take away the Gentlemen.

I finish just in time. I hurry to the cafe so I won't be late. I want a friend. I want to be friends with Willow. She is nice and smart and fair....

I buy us both sodas, chips and cookies. I grab a table near the entrance to the cafe and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

The pitying looks get to me after an hour. I have seen no hair of the wiccan from yesterday. I am very disappointed. Without my consent, my full lips tug into a pout in rejection and my eyes become a little less clear. It is clear now that she is not coming and I can feel the other students watching me leave. I am less embarrassed knowing not as many people saw me waiting so long.

I decide though that Willow still needs to know about the Gentlemen if only for her kindness.

My bag is heavy with textbooks so I drop them off at the dorm. My desk is already covered with previous notes from last night. I drop my textbooks and put my Gentlemen notes in the spell book.

If I hurry, I might be able to find Willow's dorm. The student directory sat in my chair so I grabbed it. I tried to rmember her last name.

"Willow, Willow Rosenberg. Not like I'm James Bond but yeah..."

I hurry up and write Willow's house name and dorm number on my hand. If I hurry, I won't need to fight. I close the door behind speed walking out of the dormitory. Wiccans are connected to the earth and its magic so she can help. Sunnydale might not be home but I do not want innocents hurt.

Every step I take outside is a struggle. The moon is full and a glaring white against the sky: a hunter's moon. There is no sound from my flats against the ground they are so light. Outside I feel like prey so I am as quiet as possible. I have not spoken all day and it's pivotal that I don't now. No other person is out on campus tonight which leaves my stupidity as clear as the water I drink.

The sound of limping and chains make me stop approaching the dorm of Willow. I tilt my head in curiosity. Whose holding chains? Is someone being attacked? I turn around to help and are faced with monstrosities known as 'The Gentlemen' and their minions.

Long sleeves drag against the ground as the minions limp and run toward me. The Gentlemen with their white faces and skeletal bodies levitate toward me. I open my mouth to scream my attack but nothing escapes. My voice has been taken as well. I flip the minion closest to me who dared to grab my arm. I twist my arm to the pint where it should break and watch his arm become limp in uselessness. His face is too close showing skin colored orange and scarred with no eyes nor mouth.

I run as fast as I can toward the closest dormitory. Each door is locked and shut tight so I pound as hard as I can for sanctuary. No one opens. I switch from door to door bruising my knuckles. Was the vision a warning of my death? Can my mixed heritage really be what kills me in the end?

Another minion runs towards me and I kick it away. In true visibility of my strength, it busts into a wall and plaster falls to the ground. I run harder up the stairs just not even sweating it. They can only be killed with a human voice but if I'm dead, Willow won't get the spell. Each door refuses to open. They are too scared. I shake my head in fear and try to stay ahead of my pursuers,

The third floor almost brings the same disappointment. My knuckles have started bleeding in desperation for sanctuary leaving crimson marks on each door I knock. I can't give up now but I am losing hope. Each door brings another disappointment from humanity. They leave their own to die. They want me to die.

My lungs are now burning from the excessive run. I do not see her until it's too late Our collision is hard and painful. I see the beautiful shade of sunny red hair before I land hard on the ground on my arm. My mouth is open in a silent scream as the pop of my shoulder indicates a dislocated shoulder. I struggle to lean up to see my supposed rescuer and see it's Willow. Our mouth is open in a groan that won't come and she clutches her ankle in pain. I can already her the chains closing in and Willow is crawling away from them.

I grab her close with my good arm half carrying her up the next set of stairs. She grasps my good should in support. Willow opens a supply closet door. She hobbles to the washing machine still clutching her bad ankle. I lean against the door trying to prevent the Gentlemen from busting in. My stupidity has been Willow at risk and I can barely look at her now in my guilt. There is a soda machine nearby and I hurry to it pushing against it. It moves but would take too long to get to the door. My shoulder aches with my heartbeat but I can't let an innocent die because of me.

I stop about to quit when the soda machine wobbles on its own. What? Without thinking,I turn to Willow in confusion. Her unique eye are darker now in concentration and auburn brows are furrowed. Willow's teeth are clenched as she pushes her power out but to no avail.

I hobble toward her now. Flats are not made to run in and now my feet ache as well. My eyes water in guilt and despair at what I've done. I have single handedly managed to kill us both. I can feel the sting of tears in my eyes. We are seated next to each other. I bite my lips and push my shoulder hard. With a loud crack, it's back in place and I have made myself bleed. A feminine hand grasps my shoulder in concern.

My watery hazel eyes meets Willow's and I blink. Slowly each salty tear goes down my face.

I look up at her.

"I'm so sorry," I mouth quietly sobbing. "I didn't mean to."

Lean arms wrap around me and I'm pulled to her chest.

The door knob jingles and we both look toward the soda machine. Suddenly, the soda machine flies toward the door. I stop crying in shock and we both stare each other wondering what's just happened. Willow keeps her arms around and so I stay between them; silent and comforted. I didn't know we had fallen asleep until morning.


	4. How? Babble

I avoid looking at Willow in the face. She is too amused about the whole situation. I can see the grin on her face at my repeated apologies. How is it so funny? We almost died! I almost had her killed.

"It's really not your fault. I was the one who opened the door. I still can't believe the magic we did though," her fawn colored eyes are wide in excitement. "We lifted a soda machine. Together. Magically. It's whoa. I mean like a good whoa. Just whoa," the last word seems almost sounded out from her small pink mouth.

"That's really all you can focus on?" I ask feeling my eyebrows pull down. "Not that I'm the reason you almost had your heart stolen but because we used magic to move a big machine?"

"Well, yeah. This always happens in Sunnydale. You know, weird things. It's just I went from barely levitating a pencil to helping to levitating a soda machine and pushing it with you. By the way, how did you know they were after hearts? How were you running so fast? Are you a witch, too?" Question after question fires out of Willow's mouth and no time is given for each question.

My face must be very expression because she blushes again and apologizes.

"I'll start over and let you answer," Willow promises grinning guiltily. "How did you run so fast?"

"You can't?" escapes my mouth before I can think.

"I mean it's normal at home. Everyone is fast. I'm just one of the fastest," I say thinking about what not and what to say.

"Question two," Willow raises two fingers to specify. "Are you a witch?"

It is my first smile of the day that appears. "No. We're still a magical bunch just not wiccan."

My answer confuses Willow. Her brow is furrowed in thought. I wonder what she's thinking. Have I said the wrong thing again? Did I reveal too much? Whatever it is, Willow's face smoothes as if all conflict is gone.

"How did you know about the Gentlemen?" pure curiosity is leaking from Willow in waves and I wonder how to answer without revealing too much. Her openness is refreshing but the questions almost make me feel like running. Willow's face is so kind though that I am rooted to the chair.

"My bloodline has records of the supernatural," I begin sticking close to the truth. "Starting with the first, they add notes and it's passed from generation to generation. We are so few that its important to know the dangers," my eyes earnestly look into Willow's. Her eyes turn inexplicably sad and I can't find the cause.

"You have no one else?"

Again, I answer as truthfully as possible." There are not many others like me but there are some. We are not close. Most did not accept so they have a hard time accepting me," I finish.

Willow seems so hurt on my behalf. "That is horrible. You would think that racism wouldn't exist today. It was because she wasn't the same as them, wasn't it?"

Is not fully answering lying? Technically, it was race but also species. I nod in confirmation feeling guilty. My stomach twists because of it.

I have drank since last night and search through my bag for my bottle of water. A crushed cookie wrapped in plastic is found instead. I decided to give Willow what is rightfully hers.

It looks like a broken cookie and I can see now it is more crumbs than nothing. Willow recognizes the cafeteria's cooking and her mouth frowns.

"I forgot," Willow seems to have forgotten I was there. "I never forget. What made me forget?" A reason she can't tell me right now because Willow gives no answer but a heartfelt apology. She delicately unwraps the cookies revealing golden crumbs and chocolate. She eats the cookie piece by piece slowly but looks at me between bites.

"I would like to be your friend," I announce and blush when I see I spoke too loud. "You are nice and kind and I like you so I want to be your friend," I explain in a quieter voice.

"You want me?" Willow's eyes look even brighter when they're wide like that. A peach colored hand points one finger back at herself.

"Yes," I answer seriously." Was I unclear?" I question worried.

"Do you not want to be my friend?" I evade Willow's eyes and take her silence as the answer.

A warm hand grabs my wrist gently. A small smile is on her face and I can see the hints of dimples imprinted though high cheekbones. Willow's eyes feel like they see every inch of me leaving exposed.

"I'll be your friend," she quickly answers. "We have to hang out though. And talk because friends talk. We need to have fun too," Willow becomes excited at the thought as ideas flash though her head. " We can study together or do magic together. We can go to the Pump together or the Bronze. My friends have been really busy but now I have a friend to be with too," Willow's smile had widened and I feel dizzy. I take a breath and realized I had forgotten to breathe.

"I can do that," I say relieved.

"After psych, I'll show you the Pump. It will be so cool," Willow stops to glance at the clock." I have to go though. I need to check on my other friends. Bye!" she waves before heading out with short red hair being the last things I see.

I have a friend.

In my disbelief, I can't stop smiling and can't myself caring what a pump is only that Willow will show it to me.


	5. Half Breed Pumps

"So this is Main Street," I marvel at the many small shops along each side of the side walk. There are small stores everywhere I look and not as crowded as I thought. Willow walks close next me: close enough that our shoulders are almost touching with every step we take.

"Yep," Willow chirped. "It's been a while since I just looked around," she pulled her shoulders up and down. I watched Willow's face trying to understand what she was saying. Then Willow turned toward me. She had such an expressive face that I always wanted to see it change into a smile. It didn't seem like it would right now though.

"College has just been so busy. I mean I love it," Willow is quick to reassure the fact. "I mean I'm research girl, study girl, the know it all girl. It's nice having not so easy work but it makes less time for the fun work. You know, the Pump and then the Bronzage. My friends and I can't hang out as much so it's awesome you and I can. My new friend," her bright brown eyes look like a dark shade of amber when Willow smiles brightly at me. My heart races at the sight of it and my stomach turns but the sickly feeling is never bad if Willow's involved.

I look away for a brief instant and see something shine in a window display.

I wander closer to it and see that it's a gemstone: I recognize the brilliant bright blue green shade as aquamarine. The cut isn't something complicated to catch the eye. The shape is like an amulet: a plainly cut oval aquamarine gem encased in a silver holder with a matching chain.

"Hey! Where'd you go?" Willow exclaims and I look in response. "Window shopping means not buying just looking," she insists.

I feel my lips turn downwards at the corners at the remark.

" I don't window shop then," I decide." Can we enter this shop?"

Willow tilts her head to the side and puts a finger near her pink lips and chin. I watch her short red hair move at the turn of her head. Softly colored brown eyes look somewhere to the right ahead of me. It reminds me of the students outside talking and laughing with friends. A deliberate hmmmm sound escapes her mouth and I realize this is teasing.

Friends tease. I like teasing.

"Please," I beg sweetly smiling at the playful Wiccan. "Oh great Willow, please let me go inside."

The facade fades and her eyes turn wide at my begging. Did I do it wrong? There is a bright blush on her cheeks the color of cherry blossoms. It's such a beautiful shade of pink that I can't help wanting to see the color again in the near future.

"O-o-kay," Willow stammers on the word and I wonder what caused it. The notion to find it isn't as strong as the urge to be closed to the kind redhead so I don't look for it.

I smile again at the consent and hold the door open for Willow. She smiles in thanks and I realize the more Willow smiles, the more I want to too.

There is a small woman in the middle of the store. Her hair is the color of freshly colored snow and looks just as fine as its look alike. The woman's back is hunched a little in what I can only guess is old age.

I hear the bell chime at our entrance. The elderly woman turns at the sound and I freeze as I see her eyes. I ignore the lighter footsteps of another woman. Her eyes are the ancient blue of the second generation: an icy blue that used to represent our kind before people were turned and changed our traditional looks. My own eyes lack the clear blue tinge and much like the original are a hazel that looks amber in some lights but sometimes does have a blue tinge. I start to realize that pale shade of blonde is from more than age but species.

I slowly approach the elder woman and gather my courage as I do so. There are not many mixed of our kind and many are barren so I have received mixed views. Some say I am an abomination: undeserving of my bloodline, the closest to the original, and a symbol of their failed fertility. Others say I'm a miracle: our chance of not dying out like most of our cousins.

I decide to speak in English to not draw attention to us.

"Excuse me, I would like to see the aquamarine necklace," my voice is calm but I am anything but. We are rare so I did not expect many of us to be here.

She smiles at me and all of my tension eases.

"I help you," she says in broken English which makes me almost sound like a native. "Wait at count," she points to the counter near the register and I nod gratefully at her behavior.

Sadly, it is near the other who is less kind. Her straight nose raises in the air at the sight of me and I try not to let it bother me. Willow pulls my arm to get my attention and I'm quick to give her the attention she so wants.

"I'll be right back," Willow first says and glances at a display closer to the middle of the store. "I'm going to look for something."

I nod that I understand and she hurries to the display.

"Half breed," I hear the woman in front of me hiss. It brings back memories of running and never being fast enough. It reminds me of being small and hearing the adults say it's a pity I didn't die in infancy. It's the pain of feeling rocks break bone and skin but heal when the heart cannot.

"Do you not hear me?" She almost spits on me this one is so close. "You are filth. You're a waste to our kind. Our standards have fallen too low to allow you to be one of us," I can almost feel this one's hatred in waves.

"Leave humans out of this," I mutter glaring straight at her. My heritage has always been a sore point people liked to poke at but don't bring humanity into this. Willow is human and the sweetest creature I've ever met.

"Don't talk about humans," I warn again. "You go into their world, into their countries and cities to survive. Do not speak I'll of them."

Her eyes flash blue: a warning to back off.

"You already know your place," she guesses and laughs cruelly."You are nothing. You aren't one of us," her voice raises. The last words speak far more truth than I want.

"You are a disgusting half breed that no one will ever want to be here. After all, you're not pure," a mocking laugh escapes her.

I didn't hear Willow until she'd already opened her mouth.

"Hey! Don't you talk about her!" Her normally quiet and sweet voice is raised to shouts. "It's your bigotry that kills! What makes you think you're so much better? Are you mad your cleavage-y sluttiness doesn't have as many followers? Are you mad that you're nothing more than a bully," I've never seen Willow mad but can't even be scared when I know she's angry for me, not at me, defending me.

It only cements the fact that Willow is the best friend I could have ever asked for.

"Let's go," I say quietly. "I do not think we should stay."

Willow harshly nods and turns with a quiet huff to the door.

We made it only three steps before Willow finally blows up about the woman.

"I can't believe it," she says loudly. "Even in 1999, there are still bigots. I mean ridiculous. You're a paying customer and she's all," Willow makes an ugly face to mimic the cashier. "'Half breed' and you're all quiet and..." like a balloon, the anger slowly releases out of Willow like air.

"I am sorry you didn't get to get what you wanted," Willow spoke quietly and looked at straight in my eyes in sympathy.

Before I could answer, the old woman leaves the store. Her hair sways as she moves and seems to almost blind me in the sunlight. It takes her only a few steps to reach us.

She stretches her aged hand towards me and I open my palm to receive. I look down and see the necklace from the window display! I look up shocked and she immediately explains.

" Gift," she struggles. " For family. Cause of stupid girl. No listen. Beautiful hope," Her wise eyes say what her words can't. I am her bloodline. She'll defend me and I'm not disgusting but the opposite. She pats my hand as if I'm made of glass and hobbled back into the door.

Willow peaks into my palm and sees the necklace.

"That's beautiful," she marvels at its brightness entranced by its power. Fawn eyes look back at me and nod. "I understand now why you wanted so bad."

I shake at my head at her reasoning.

"I'll tell why at the dorm. First you wanted to show me a pump," I say not too subtly changing the subject.

Willow laughs and leads the way. ____________________________________________________________________ _____

"Here it is," she practically sang and we were in front of a small almost restaurant. It smelled strongly of sugary treats and bitterness. I wrinkled my nose as the odor of coffee beans assaulted my nostrils.

I quickly try to relax my face. Despite the multitude of smells, the quaint coffee shop is welcoming. Willow ushers me to a table near the window and we both sit down.

"The Pump has the best coffee in Sunnydale. I love to come here with my friends and talk," Willow explains.

"I've never had coffee," I divulge. "It smelled too bitter."

"Oh," Willow leans forward quick to offer a solution.

"It has a lot if options," the redhead reassures smiling.

I lean closer to Willow as I try to explain what I mean.

"I've never had a hot beverage. My bloodline was very old fashioned. If we couldn't grow it, we didn't eat it."

Willow wrinkled her brow in response.

"Well, then do you like cookies?"

"Since leaving, I have found I love cookies especially chocolate ones," I say earnestly.

"I'll order for you then. I'll be back," Willow gets up and heads toward the counter eager to surprise me. I can tell by the smile of her eyes and her excitement reveals how close to amber her eyes really are.

I lean back in the seat to get comfortable. Already I don't water near as much to be out in the sun. The stray rays warm my skin and now I am eager to receive. My curly hair falls into my face and the weight of it I can feel even over my buttoned sweater. I am happy now I pulled some of my hair back so I can see.

Sufficiently warmed, I observe the Pump. It is kind of small for humans fitting maybe forty on a very busy day. The walls are painted a warm shade of white with an almost golden tinge not unlike my skin. My table is smooth and in the shape of a square with two chairs to match.

"Here you go," Willow presents them as if they are mighty gifts. "Coffee for me and hot chocolate for you." She pushes a hot covered cup towards me.

I take gingerly a little afraid of this new experience. The heat feels like it burns my skin but already I can feel my tolerance building. I sniff gently and recognize the fragrance of chocolate.

Oh. I see. The name is the drink. Willow is already drinking the coffee but eyeing my reception to the drink. I pull back the top and take a small sip.

"Hot. Hot. Hot!" I mumble loudly at the searing heat.

Willow immediately drops her drink giggling and half heartedly fans my face.

"You're supposed to blow," her face is stern but her eyes laugh at me.

I nod pouting at the burned layer of skin I feel in my mouth.

"Do you want to try again?" Willow says pushing the cup back towards me.

I groan and let my head fall to the table with a thump.

Willow's laughter makes the burn worth it.


	6. Shaking Instinct

"Can we go to your dorm? My friend's having some relationship issues and you still haven't told me about that necklace," Willow said having thrown away her coffee a few minutes ago.

"We can," I say a little nervously glancing away at the empty hot chocolate cup to Willow instead."If you want," I amended.

"I want," Willow nodded eagerly and dragged me out of the Pump.

"So what should I expect?" Willow chirped after walking a few blocks away.

"Sunlight." What else was there to expect? This part of California normally receives much of the sun's rays.

Willow laughed a little and shook her head making her hair dance like flames.

"No, your room," she clarified. "I already know today is supposed to be sunny."

What was there to expect?

"A bed," I calmly begin."Textbooks, clothes, shoes and decoration," I finish listing,

Willow tilts her head to the side and raises an eyebrow,

"Nothing else?" Willow prompted.

"Plants and herbs," I continue truthfully."A book or two of spells. It might seem a little cluttered but it's mine," I finished earnestly staring into Willow's eyes and their lightness in the sunlight.

I had nothing more to say. There wasn't anything else to add. It was a room with the necessities I needed and belongings to make it feel safe. It wasn't anything extravagant but not completely plain. It is hospitable. It is mine. The concept is very simple to grasp.

It was almost silent on some of the walk to my dorm. Willow seemed pensive with her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. What was troubling her so? The same eyes that grabbed my attention earlier were deep in thought. I will wait for Willow to speak.

I didn't have to wait long.

"I was wondering if we could do things...you know...magic things," Willow said lowering her voice a little. "Cause I can't stop thinking about the laundry room," the redhead explained. "You're a great person," Willow looked at my grin and trails off.

"I'm talking too much again?" She guesses and a small grin appeared on Willow's face.

I don't answer but I can feel my smile widen.

Willow brushes again painting her cheeks that rosy hue I like.

We're close to my dorm now. Hers was a couple buildings away. Other students hurriedly scramble to class. Others sit on the grass eating put of a basket. I hear multiple voices and both genders from what seems like all sides here but at least it's not so loud.

"My building is here," I say stopping at the entrance. I open the door and Willow thanks me before coming here.

My door is three doors away from the front door on the right.

I unlock the door and let Willow enter again first.

I wonder what Willow sees that's different from me.

Fairytale lights light up my otherwise dim dorm. My window is still covered in night colored fabric. The walls are no longer only beige but covered with pictures I had found. One was a clear shot of a luminescent full moon and the others were landscapes. The bed was relatively small with a dark comforter, black silk pillows and a quilt the same shade of white as the moon. My cluttered desk was covered with multiple books: magic texts, textbooks, etc. It was not like the average dorm I believe but it made the room comfortable.

Willow stood quietly in the middle of the dorm seeing everything for the first time.

"You may sit on the bed," I said disturbing the silence in the dorm. "You had questions that I will answer."

We both headed towards the bed. I sat leaning against the wall while Willow sat staring right ahead at me with both legs crossed and covered in jeans.

"You asked about the necklace," I began. " The gemstone itself means healing and helps easing broken hearts."

Instead of looking at Willow, I studied the aquamarine necklace.

"I do not know what happened to my mother. I know she was beautiful," I briefly glanced at Willow before switching my gaze back to the necklace. "That in itself lead to her leaving. Eura said her name was Rosalia. I am her namesake."

I took a breath to continue.

"Eura raised with my mother. The bloodline didn't accept my mother because she was so different from them: in appearance, ideology and more. Eura said she came home one day to find me crying and my mother gone. Eura had given my mother a necklace like this," I said handing it to Willow so she could have a closer look.

"There are legends that some of our blood came from the water. Time has forgotten her name but not her story. She loved this gem and was renowned for always wearing it around her neck. Eura thought my mother was like the first in beauty and brains so she gave her a aquamarine."

"Was that why you wanted it? To be closer to your mother?" Willow questioned hesitantly.

I nodded.

"I don't like this topic though," I announced after a second. "It makes me sad. We can do magic later though," I said trying to change the subject. "Eura gave me magic books we can use if you want."

Willow nodded eagerly happy even at the mention of spells and magic and books.

She is very endearing.

"I can do some research on spells," Willow was quick. "I can't wait. I mean we were so-"

Suddenly, Willow began shaking. Her eyes widened in alarm and I realized that the redhead wasn't shaking but the room itself. A pale hand grasped my wrists as the trembled increased and I stumbled with her. Books are shaking and the absent sound of crashing makes the whole room seem eerily reminiscent of the Gentlemen.

The warm hand pushed me into the closet and Willow followed after me not shutting the door.

Because of the black drapes, my room is always a little dark. The closet is even darker. I feel cotton and hardness against my back. Warm hands hold me against the wall of the closet. The tremors just as suddenly as they began ended. I dared not move.

I felt overwhelmed in this space: afraid to even breathe too loud. Silky smooth skin was touching mine and a lithe body pushed against me. A warm sensation kept hitting my scalp and I looked up.

Willow's eyes further pinned me to the closet.

I couldn't breathe and my heart felt like it was about to give out.

She was so close. Our breath even mingled in the same air. I exhaled and it quivered in the air.

Willow was so close....

It was still dark...

I could feel her...

"That was close," Willow said breathily.

I took a deep breathe and slowly breathed out.

"Thank you. Why did you save me?"

Willow's eyes were so intense when she stared into mine. They were a mystery now no longer as tame but still not wild: a coffee like at the Expresso Pump.

"It was instinct like breathing."


	7. Closet Recall

Willow was so close...

She is so slender...

We were so close...

I absentmindedly touch my lips feeling soft skin...

What do hers feel like? Do friends do that? I am utterly confused in the best of ways with my new friend Willow. When I close my eyes, I keep seeing Willow in the closet.

I feel the hot air near me. I feel soft skin touching skin touching mine. I can hear the tremors from before. My heart still races but is slower without the tangible Wiccan. I see almost strawberry blond hair darkened into a bloomed red rose.

Her darkened eyes are following mine and I start to wish I'd have leaned forward. Would it have been like on the television in the lounge? Closed eyes? Relaxed?

Though I am calm, I feel anything but relaxed on my bed. The earthquake from earlier has made me question everything. The shower hasn't calmed me like I wanted. Instead, it had ruined my controlled ringlets and created a frizzy mess of curls that are growing more tangled by the minute. I hadn't even bothered changing out of my bathrobe after the shower.

What is Willow thinking?

Are we still friends?

Will she still visit?

Knocking on my door interrupts my thoughts. I muse about not answering but remember someone could use help. Someone could need me so I must go.

I hurry to the door with my bare feet barely in touch. I open the door and am happy to see Willow. She is covered in a long brown coat with pale hands encased in pockets. Willow smiles at me in a wide smile showing every white tooth. Her eyes dance as the Wiccan sees my face.

'Nothing has happened,' I remind myself. 'She's still here so be happy.'

"I am happy to see you," I say slowly grinning. It was one of the first phrases learned and the first time I can say it.

"Hey, Briar! Are you busy tonight? There's a party at Porter Hall and I don't wanna go alone. I mean if I'm by myself, hello no fun and Buffy couldn't come right away so come? With me?" Willow specified still smiling at me.

"I don't know," my grin fades seeing it is nightfall. The lights in the hallway are always turned on at night in my building.

"There are demons out and I don't want you to go by yourself,"I say thinking out loud.

"Come then," Willow implores eyes watching mine. "I don't want to go by myself. My friend Buffy is busy for a while and I don't want to go alone," she pleads.

I don't have to deliberate much after that.

"I will go then," I say without thinking. I don't want anything to happen to my new friend so I will go. "Come in," I say opening the door wider. "I need to change."

Willow didn't hesitate to come inside. I was glad that there was almost no tension between us. Her soft footsteps were almost silenced on the carpet from the college. I would've loved to keep watching her but I had to change. I grabbed a few pieces out of my dresser and walked into my closet.It was darker in here at night leaving only outlines of what's inside.I grabbed some clothes and dressed myself as quick as possible.

I left the closet better covered than when I left. My bathrobe was left in a mess on the floor. By touch alone, I gathered my hair into a ponytail and pulled it away from my face. I hastily tied it back. This was as good as I was going to get for a 'party.'

"We can go," I say turning around seeing Willow almost right behind me.

I almost stumbled at the proximity. We were so close that I saw the jade flecks in otherwise fawn eyes. Those flecks were almost invisible to the naked eye but now I see them under the brightness of the fairy tale lights.

My throat suddenly felt dry like in the closet.

Does Willow know what she is doing?

I didn't dare try to find the answer. I stumbled to the left grabbing the dresser to keep my balance. I took a breath to calm down and spun feeling my hair hit my back.

"I thought we were going to a party," my voice seemed to bring Willow back to Earth from wherever she was during our encounter.

The redhead hastily nodded putting slim hands in her pockets. "Yep, we're going." We hurried to the door and I locked it to ensure no human got into my possessions.

"The necklace," Willow said gesturing towards my neck.

I nodded. Yes. There is a necklace around my neck.

"I like it...on you...,"Willow basically breathed the compliment and I admired how softly her blushes began and looked against pale skin.

I smiled.

On impulse, I grabbed her hand and felt a shock. The lights flickered a little at our skin to skin contact. That reaction would never bore me. Willow didn't even pull away at the response.

"I like you," I announced probably a tad too loud. "I am happy we are friends."

Willow smiled wide showing her teeth and her head kind of bobbed in place in thanks.

The movement made my own smile grow.

We both started walking to the door and it wasn't until we were outside that the thought hit me.

What are parties like anyway?


	8. I don't like parties

I'm not sure how to feel about parties.

The bass makes the house almost shake like the earthquake. The music is louder and without a beat. It seems like headache inducing white house. I see humans everywhere scattered 'dancing' or drinking something in a red cup. This does not seem fun with so many strangers surrounding us.

We stand out in this sea of college students and I am not sure it's a good thing.

Willow seems just as lost as I in this environment. The mostly fawn colored eyes of the Wiccan glance around the room for something to do. I don't know what to do either. A sharp smell permeates this house and I don't know what it is only that it is strong compared to the water I usually drink.

"What are we supposed to do at parties?" I lifted my face to better see Willow.

"I'm only asking because we're the only ones standing still," I continued.

"Drinks!" Willow suddenly shouted. She looked down to see me and I stayed still to better see the Wiccan's gentle face.

"I should get us drinks. We should drink to relax but not a lot because bad things happen to drunk people ans I don't want bad things to happen to you so we'll only drink a little," Willow raises her hand and pressing them together so there is a small space between them.

"I should actually go get them. Stay here so I don't lose you," Willow instructed looking straight into my hazel eyes. It left me feeling paralyzed again. Willow didn't want to lose me. I found some energy to move my head and Willow smiled at me again. Willow held up her pointer finger and stood still for a second and entered the crowd of inebriated young adults.

I stayed there in the crowd glancing all over for Willow when I noticed someone walking over in my direction. I didn't even glance at him. I kept searching for golden red hair that looked like fully bloomed roses at night. I almost succeeded until that 'someone' came too close.

"So what brings you here?" The stranger slurred in my direction bringing in the awful stench of vomit and alcohol.

I crinkled my nose in disgust.

"I was thinking over there," he waved his hand in a random direction."You're hot and I'm hot so let's go upstairs and be hot together," I'm sure the smile should've been charming but the smell was making my stomach turn.

"No. I am not hot," I told him haughtily. "I am actually cool. Your stench and gender disgust me so leave. I don't like you so I want you to leave."

"Oh, come on," the drunken man whined and it disgusted me even more. He kept getting closer to me. "Come with me upstairs."

This stranger is so irritating. How could I see Willow if this oaf is blocking my view? He comes to me covered in a weird slime and smelling of vomit and presumes to think I'll do anything with him.

"You listen to me," I growl looking straight into the drunken dunce's hazy eyes. "You're a disgusting boy who has more of a chance with that red cup than me. If you don't back away then I'll show you happens when you anger my kind." Already I feel my eyes shifting and he must see it because the the dunce starts to stumble away from me.

"Hey!" I hear Willow yell over the music.

I look over and see a familiar redhead approaching. The lights are dim like in my room so the Wiccan's red hair is especially noticeable in the dark. Pale hands have a tight grip on two red cups much like the one in the drunken stranger's hand.

"Who's he? Am I interrupting something? Do you want some alone time? I'll just go-"

As Willow starts walking away, I grab onto her sleeve careful not to let it tear.

"You're not interrupting anything," I reassure her and my scowl softens. "If anything he's interrupting. Anyway, the fool was just about to leave," I finish glaring at the drunken stranger.

He must have some survival instincts because he continues to stumble away.

"Here's your cup," Willow sticks out a hand towards me with a cup.

I thank her but do not drink. The stranger had the same cup and was acting like an idiot. I don't want to drink even a little of this if that's what can occur. Willow takes small sips of the drink so she probably knows the effects it can have.

Willow looks around the room and her eyes widen to the left.

I turn in that direction and see two people on the couch. They are probably a couple. I notice this because of how close they are sitting together and how they seem to smiling every time they sneak glances to see each other. Both are conventionally attractive with matching dark hair. The guy could be considered handsome if you are into double chins and muscles.The girl can be considered pretty with full lips and curves. Like I said though, they could be considered aesthetically pleasing if you like the standards of the medieval ages.

Willow keeps glancing at the couple so I wonder if she knows them. She said she grew up here so maybe they went to school together. It is possible. UC Sunnydale did have many students from the town.

"Do you want to talk with them?" I say gesturing my head towards the couch.

Willow nods eagerly and I follow her to the couch.

"Hey, Percy!" the Wiccan greets Percy enthusiastically and I see the somewhat pretty face of the girlfriend turn into a scowl before smoothing.

"Hey, Willow." Percy is slow to respond to Willow and less happy to see her. I hope she doesn't notice but just the idea of someone not liking Willow company makes me frown. How is that even possible?

"Oh," Willow's mouth frames the letter perfectly before she glances at me sheepish. "This is my new friend, Briar."

I smile at Willow to show everything is fine before nodding at this Percy.

Percy is like every red blooded male. He cannot control his reactions to our kind. He smiles a bit too wide to be a friend and stares at me too long indicating interest. Brown eyes, not even anything interesting like Willow's, eyes me in a way that makes me feel filthy.

His girlfriend seethes in jealousy and hits him hard to gain Percy's attention.

"This is my girlfriend....."He trails off and the girlfriend's scowl deepens.

"Laurie," she practically spits it in his direction.

"I didn't know you went to UC Sunnydale. I haven't seen around campus."

"I don't actually," Percy corrects. "I'm here visiting....."his voice trails off again when I hit his vision.

Laure hits him again and he continues.

"I got a football scholarship and go to USC."

Willow smiles at him. "Congratulations." She seems honestly excited for him.

Laurie smiles and exposes too many teeth making it seem more like a snarl.

"We were supposed to meet my friends so nice meeting you." She grabs Percy's hand and drags him into the corner.

Willow stands there stunned for a second at how fast they marched off. I don't really know what to say. I don't ant to believe anyone would try to get away from Willow but that girl was so bitter...

I can hear them arguing and Willow must too because we both turn in their direction.

"Why? So I can watch you flirt with that redhead and ogle that brunette?" Her voice is loud and carries too well.

"What, Rosenberg? Yeah, right. She's just some egghead who tutored me a little in high school. I mean, she's nice, but come on, captain of the nerd squad."

"Well, I don't know. Maybe you have a thing for geeks."

"Uh, no. I like my women hot. Call me old fashioned."

Some people might say they see red at someone talking about their friends. I don't believe them. It is not possible for human eyes to change the pigment which they see from that fast. However, I saw blue. My eyes change into a crystal blue that's rare with humans and fills my vision with the same shade.

I didn't even have to think about it. One second I am next to Willow seeing the devastation on her face and the next I'm in front of the couple from hell. Suddenly, two cups were in my hands and the next I saw them they were dripping amber liquid. The red cups dropped to the floor with an unsatisfying thud.

"Congratulations!" I say full of false cheer. "You have won the award for being the fakest human beings on planet Earth."

The girlfriend is the first to recover. She wipes her eyes and stands there gaping at me. Percy recovers last and they both watch me shocked and wet.

"Bastards deserve ugly whores. I've never seen two uglier people in my whole life. You were lucky that Willow wasted a breath in your direction but decided she was too 'geeky'. Am I right? Realize this is your last chance. I am not a forgiving person. The next time I see you and trust me I will, you're going to show some respect or you're going to wish you're mothers didn't waste nine months on wastes of oxygen." I have never heard my voice sound so cold .

I turn around and take Willow's wrist to try to take her away from such evil people.

I can't help saying one more thing to the whore before leading Willow to a different part of the house.

"Maybe if you weren't so ugly, he'd stop looking at me and Willow."

As we walk away, I realize an important thing I should tell Willow based on this experience.

"I don't like parties."


	9. I'm Still Here

"Are you okay?"

Willow seems so miserable. Her eyes are lowered to the floor and I see them slightly glistening. The Wiccan always seems so powerful to me but now I see she is not unbreakable.Willow now seems as fragile as glass.The hallway is dark with few windows so there is not much light. The candles have burnt out and it is only my improved eyesight that allows me to see some of the changes to Willow. She must now see maybe my face in black and white. I wonder if the dark is worsening whatever is haunting Willow."We can leave," I whisper and Willow's eyes lift slightly off the floor but not into my eyes.I feel more than see her head shake."Do you want to be alone?" I ask hesitantly.I do not know what to do. How can you heal what you can't see? How can you fix what isn't broken? You cannot. You can only try to help, I suppose.Another shake of the head almost makes me sigh in relief.I don't want to leave Willow.That is when I feel a warm hand grasp my wrist. The hold is gentle as if I could be so easily hurt. I wish I could tell her that with each passing day I change. As each day passes, a tiny bit of what makes my body human disappears.I almost wonder what will happen when it disappears on my birthday.A slight tug interrupts my thoughts and I am ashamed for being so selfish. Willow has just been ridiculed and here I am thinking of myself. I imagine I must be a very horrible friend. Willow is my first friend, my only friend, so I need to help make her feel better.Maybe Willow feels alone. She seemed so excited to see Percy so that would explain it, right? Willow said herself her friends have been busy and that they couldn't hang out with her. It seems to make sense because that's how I've always felt until I met Willow.She makes everything better.I escape Willow's grasp as delicately as possible. Willow looks up at the loss of contact and seems so lost. Her eyes are still shining and her mouth is still pouting and I wish I had done more because Willow reminds me of me before her and it makes my heart hurt. I feel so cold when she is like this so I try to get us warm.

I decide to try to 'hold' Willow like how I saw a woman holding a baby to make them stop crying.

I wrap my arms gently around Willow's waist because she is priceless. I hold her tight so she can feel my heartbeat and know she's not alone. I make sure I hold her tigh **t** so she knows that I am here and I don't believe a word of what that bastard said. I make sure to stay strong because even the strongest are weak alone.It takes Willow a few moments to respond.Then I feel warm hands though the thin cotton around my waist. I feel feminine strong arms around me. There is still no space between us. My heart feels like it's going too fast so I try to breathe and am surrounded by the smell that is uniquely Willow.

I am positive the positive the woman didn't feel like I do holding Willow.

It is very addicting. Now I truly do not understand why people drink. It makes no sense. Why get drunk off of a foul liquid when you could get drunk on Willow?That is when I feel Willow finally let go. The little tension that was here is calm and I wonder how I thought before was amazing when compared to feeling like I am truly helping. Then it gets infinitely better. I feel a soft weight on my shoulder and look to see shining red hair.Willow's head is laying on my shoulder.That is when I hear the first thing she's said since Percy."Can we go somewhere more private?"I can't nod because I don't want to dislodge Willow. I don't want to let go to open a door. We are basically stuck in this hallway unless someone gives in and tries a door. I sigh and hate that must I let go.Willow unwillingly withdraws and makes a noise of protest that gains my full attention."Hey," she complains pouting. "You can't just offer snuggles and take them away. That's like stealing. It's like offering me a cookie and then taking it away and eating it yourself after I said I want it. I want the cuddles and the snuggles and the warm feelings back."The hug at least has Willow talking again. The whining isn't grating and doesn't annoy me at all. If anything, it makes me want to give her exactly what she wants.It's just awful I can't do that right now though.I hold Willow's hand to pacify her. I will be honest: to make me feel better for having to let go. There are multiple doors in this hallway. Why do human's need so many rooms? I walk to the closest door and grasp the knob making sure not to bend it.I turn the door handle and recoil at the stench.The room smells strongly of a liquor that makes my nose burn. It is so pungent I am having a hard time smelling anything but that alcohol. How can anyone stomach that stench and still drink it? It is not easing as quickly as the smell of the gentler alcohol downstairs.Are college students drinking gasoline these days?

There was a consistent pull on my hand that I know was Willow. I allowed her to tug me into the bed. It was larger than in the dorms but not huge. Willow and I are both lithe but still we were almost as close as in the hallway. My nose wasn't burning as much. I was close to Willow, I was helping her feel better.

It seemed perfect until the lights went on.

I couldn't gasp. I couldn't scream. I grabbed Willow and pulled her closer tome almost running to the door. Willow looked behind her and saw just what she had laid up against.

It was a body. He was pale in death and muscular. He was half clothed without  shirt. Instead, someone had carved a pentagram into his chest that was body with flayed skin.

* * *

I held on tightly to Willow's hands trying to ground myself here with Willow.

Don't think about it.

Don't think about it.

Don't think about it.

I can't stop thinking about it.

"When did you know?"

I stopped staring into the room and looked at Willow.

"When the lights came on," I sighed. " I tried to get us out."

Willow seemed so lost again and this time I didn't know what to do except this. I didn't now what to say or do after what we saw except...

"I'm still here."


	10. Human Custom

"Isla?"

I stand in shock at my visitor. What is she doing here? She's supposed to be anywhere but here.

Isla sauntered towards me as if she had all the time in the world with her long curls bouncing with every step.

"Is that all you have to stay? You're not going to introduce to your new friend?"

"Isla, meet my friend Willow. Willow this is...Isla."

My voice sounds lighter as if I'm not even in the room. No one is supposed to be here. This is my trial, my escape and not even Isla should be 'visiting'.

Isla steps toward me and is close enough that can see the green undertones in her eyes.

"Poor Briar, all by herself. I decided to give you a surprise visit."

Soft lips kiss the corner of my mouth and I recoil in shock.

I am speechless.

Isla was always a flirt. I can't believe she's here though. One of the best of us is here in a small town where a man dying isn't big news is dangerous. The first were scorned women so we've always been either wary or loathe them.

"Should I go?" A small inaudible voice bounced.

"No," my voice comes out too loud and I wince at the volume.

"No," I say again quieter. "I didn't invite Isla. I invited you," my voice gets softer as I see Willow.

"I've come all this way though," Isla pours and I feel her head laying on my shoulder. The

Willow shook her head obviously disagreeing by the wrinkles of her eyebrows.

"I should go," Willow says again and her voice wavers a little. "Come see me when you're done."

I'd rather the door slam than shut so quietly that it seemed the kind Wiccan was never here.

"And then there were two," Isla mocks and smiles at me but I'm anything but pacified.

"Why are you here? You never cared before," I refuse to be cornered in my own space.

"Relax," Isla tries to sooth me and raises her hands in surrender.

"How can I relax?" I retort angrily. "You've violated my space, unwelcome, and managed to make my one friend uncomfortable."

I exhale loudly to signify my frustration.

Turquoise eyes look at me and it's hard to look away when they follow me everywhere.

"What are you doing here?" I continue exasperated and gaze at Isla the whole time. "You know the rules," I added.

Isla laughed and it sounded genuine not bitter.

"Does that mean I'm not welcome?" Her shocked tone almost makes me want to smile.

"Yes," I say clearly not looking away. "You've done wrong," I look away and wish that Willow would come though that door and make me feel better but chances are, I'm going to have to tell now.

"You're right," Isla sighs and backs away giving me the distance I was looking for. "I just wanted to see you. Is it so hard to think I'd miss you?"

"Yes," I exclaim my voice quieter but no less exasperated. "The last time I saw you, did you not say I was never your friend? Tell me you did not call me half breed and only speak to me when the others refused."

Like a flower without sunlight, Isla wilts under my accusations.

"I have finally found myself a friend and you dare run Willow run. Tell me why I should listen to any word you say," I refuse to be alone in this world and the supernatural visits were not endearing.

"I am sorry," Isla sounds at the very least apologetic. "Those insults were spoken in anger. It is my fault. Will you accept my apology?"

I nod still tense but more relaxed than when I first saw her in my room.

Isla's posture and mannerisms loosen to what I remember before my adventure began.

In a couple seconds, flames of hair are the only indication Isla was ever in front of me and not sitting on my bed.

"Your bed smells of her," Isla comments bouncing slightly on the mattress.

"Isla," I warn.

It seems like she has already forgotten what my quarrel was with her. This redhead is far more wild, untamed and with hair the color of rubies is trying to make herself at home in mine. Maybe to some others, Isla would seem a better choice. They wouldn't know Willow though. They wouldn't understand her quietness, babbles or her metamorphic fawn eyes and almost strawberry blonde hair.

I would rather have Willow.

"What are you going to tell her?"

I stare at the sheets that we both laid on yesterday and sigh.

"The truth. I think she's already suspecting," I confess as if it's a grievous sin.

"Why?"

"She is my friend and I don't like lying to her. If our kind keep coming, Willow should know."

I'll go visit her now. I don't want Willow to presume I'm taken. I don't want her to question what she is to me either. I never want to lie to Willow.

I grab a sweater and run to the door.

Before the door slams, I tell Isla to not leave this room.

I run full speed to Willow's dorm room. The night is never safe in Sunnydale. As my birthday approaches, I get faster, stronger and more powerful with every day that passes. It is this confidence that lessens my chances of being eaten.

I remember Willow's dorm is near the big park area and slow down once I see a familiar building. The hallways are empty and it's still very quiet here. If I didn't know better, I'd think the Gentlemen were back but the humans are probably drinking and partying tonight.

The flights of stairs allow me time to think of what to say.

Willow, I am not fully human.

Willow, Isla is an acquaintance and nothing more.

Willow, I like you.

As long as something like those sentences come out, I imagine my stomach will stop twisting and turning.

It is too soon that I reach a familiar white door.

I knock quickly but firmly.

It doesn't take long for an answer.

The door swings open and my sickness becomes more severe knowing what I must do.

Wide almost hazel eyes watch me from the doorway and I attempt to smoky but my cheeks fall.

"May I enter?" I ask hesitantly biting a full lip.

"I don't know what you are."

I look up confused at the random comment.

Here we are sitting on her bed. It's small like mine but with matching sheets. I stop fidgeting at her voice and take a deep breathe. I exhale and try to speak.

"I am Briar. I am your friend." I keep my eyes on Willow to watch her reaction.

"It's more than that," Willow disagrees and her eyebrows are pulled down again and I don't like how she purses small lips at the sight of me.

"I don't like that other girl," she continues and Willow's face draws tighter. "I don't like that slutty I-can-kiss-whoever-I-want girl. I don't like She-Devil," she rants.

"I just can't forget her kissing you. It wasn't a friend peck either. It was she's-mine- kiss and I don't like that."

"I'm not understanding," my lips pull down and I already feel apologetic that poor Willow has to rephrase all of this.

Willow takes a deep breathe away from me and releases it. Then she turns to me face to face.

"You're different from my other friends. There was only one I ever felt like this about when someone kissed them. It's different because I'm you know boys' town and now I'm suddenly wanting to kiss a new close friend."

Willow looks so honest now that I almost feel like my voice would ruin everything should I speak.

I can't help wanting to see what a real kiss is like.

"You can if you want," my voice wavers even at almost a whisper and I feel like I'm made of stone.

"Are you sure? Even after Ms. Slutty She-Devil?" I can't move but somehow manage to nod my head.

I release a shaky breath as Willow's face comes closer into view. Her skin is more like peaches than ivory up close. I can see and count the numerous freckles so light that hide on her nose and cheeks. Most of all, I can't stop noticing how Willow's eyes put me in a thrall that I don't want to escape from.

A warm hand steadies my trembles and I can't decide if that'll help or feeling Willow will make it worse.

"It's okay. It's just me," she whispers tenderly before soft pink lips touch mine.

It's gentle and what I need right now. Our lips brush together once, twice and then I feel our heads tilt to get closer. There is no tongue in this kiss. It's my first kiss and something that scares me and makes me euphoric at the same time. The slender hand cups my cheeks and pushes me closer.

I can see why humans enjoy this so much.

As we kiss, only three things pop into my mind.

I wish my skin was softer.

I wish I was more experienced.

I wish she'd never stop kissing me.

All good things come to an end though and we reluctantly pull away.

"I don't know what you are but you mean a lot to me," Willow whispers to me and it seems like a secret only for us.

I can feel my cheeks flush and then pale at what I have to do.

"Do you know me?" My voice is almost completely silent.

"I don't know what you are. I think you're human," Willow does a small chuckle and I don't join but pull away.

"Define human."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment please!


	11. Ms. Slutty She-Devil

"Isla?"

I stand in shock at my visitor. What is she doing here? She's supposed to be anywhere but here.

Isla sauntered towards me as if she had all the time in the world with her long curls bouncing with every step.

"Is that all you have to stay? You're not going to introduce to your new friend?"

"Isla, meet my friend Willow. Willow this is...Isla."

My voice sounds lighter as if I'm not even in the room. No one is supposed to be here. This is my trial, my escape and not even Isla should be 'visiting'.

Isla steps toward me and is close enough that can see the green undertones in her eyes.

"Poor Briar, all by herself. I decided to give you a surprise visit."

Soft lips kiss the corner of my mouth and I recoil in shock.

I am speechless.

Isla was always a flirt. I can't believe she's here though. One of the best of us is here in a small town where a man dying isn't big news is dangerous. The first were scorned women so we've always been either wary or loathe them.

"Should I go?" A small inaudible voice bounced.

"No," my voice comes out too loud and I wince at the volume.

"No," I say again quieter. "I didn't invite Isla. I invited you," my voice gets softer as I see Willow.

"I've come all this way though," Isla pours and I feel her head laying on my shoulder. The

Willow shook her head obviously disagreeing by the wrinkles of her eyebrows.

"I should go," Willow says again and her voice wavers a little. "Come see me when you're done."

I'd rather the door slam than shut so quietly that it seemed the kind Wiccan was never here.

"And then there were two," Isla mocks and smiles at me but I'm anything but pacified.

"Why are you here? You never cared before," I refuse to be cornered in my own space.

"Relax," Isla tries to sooth me and raises her hands in surrender.

"How can I relax?" I retort angrily. "You've violated my space, unwelcome, and managed to make my one friend uncomfortable."

I exhale loudly to signify my frustration.

Turquoise eyes look at me and it's hard to look away when they follow me everywhere.

"What are you doing here?" I continue exasperated and gaze at Isla the whole time. "You know the rules," I added.

Isla laughed and it sounded genuine not bitter.

"Does that mean I'm not welcome?" Her shocked tone almost makes me want to smile.

"Yes," I say clearly not looking away. "You've done wrong," I look away and wish that Willow would come though that door and make me feel better but chances are, I'm going to have to tell now.

"You're right," Isla sighs and backs away giving me the distance I was looking for. "I just wanted to see you. Is it so hard to think I'd miss you?"

"Yes," I exclaim my voice quieter but no less exasperated. "The last time I saw you, did you not say I was never your friend? Tell me you did not call me half breed and only speak to me when the others refused."

Like a flower without sunlight, Isla wilts under my accusations.

"I have finally found myself a friend and you dare run Willow run. Tell me why I should listen to any word you say," I refuse to be alone in this world and the supernatural visits were not endearing.

"I am sorry," Isla sounds at the very least apologetic. "Those insults were spoken in anger. It is my fault. Will you accept my apology?"

I nod still tense but more relaxed than when I first saw her in my room.

Isla's posture and mannerisms loosen to what I remember before my adventure began.

In a couple seconds, flames of hair are the only indication Isla was ever in front of me and not sitting on my bed.

"Your bed smells of her," Isla comments bouncing slightly on the mattress.

"Isla," I warn.

It seems like she has already forgotten what my quarrel was with her. This redhead is far more wild, untamed and with hair the color of rubies is trying to make herself at home in mine. Maybe to some others, Isla would seem a better choice. They wouldn't know Willow though. They wouldn't understand her quietness, babbles or her metamorphic fawn eyes and almost strawberry blonde hair.

I would rather have Willow.

"What are you going to tell her?"

I stare at the sheets that we both laid on yesterday and sigh.

"The truth. I think she's already suspecting," I confess as if it's a grievous sin.

"Why?"

"She is my friend and I don't like lying to her. If our kind keep coming, Willow should know."

I'll go visit her now. I don't want Willow to presume I'm taken. I don't want her to question what she is to me either. I never want to lie to Willow.

I grab a sweater and run to the door.

Before the door slams, I tell Isla to not leave this room.

I run full speed to Willow's dorm room. The night is never safe in Sunnydale. As my birthday approaches, I get faster, stronger and more powerful with every day that passes. It is this confidence that lessens my chances of being eaten.

I remember Willow's dorm is near the big park area and slow down once I see a familiar building. The hallways are empty and it's still very quiet here. If I didn't know better, I'd think the Gentlemen were back but the humans are probably drinking and partying tonight.

The flights of stairs allow me time to think of what to say.

Willow, I am not fully human.

Willow, Isla is an acquaintance and nothing more.

Willow, I like you.

As long as something like those sentences come out, I imagine my stomach will stop twisting and turning.

It is too soon that I reach a familiar white door.

I knock quickly but firmly.

It doesn't take long for an answer.

The door swings open and my sickness becomes more severe knowing what I must do.

Wide almost hazel eyes watch me from the doorway and I attempt to smoky but my cheeks fall.

"May I enter?" I ask hesitantly biting a full lip.

"I don't know what you are."

I look up confused at the random comment.

Here we are sitting on her bed. It's small like mine but with matching sheets. I stop fidgeting at her voice and take a deep breathe. I exhale and try to speak.

"I am Briar. I am your friend." I keep my eyes on Willow to watch her reaction.

"It's more than that," Willow disagrees and her eyebrows are pulled down again and I don't like how she purses small lips at the sight of me.

"I don't like that other girl," she continues and Willow's face draws tighter. "I don't like that slutty I-can-kiss-whoever-I-want girl. I don't like She-Devil," she rants.

"I just can't forget her kissing you. It wasn't a friend peck either. It was she's-mine- kiss and I don't like that."

"I'm not understanding," my lips pull down and I already feel apologetic that poor Willow has to rephrase all of this.

Willow takes a deep breathe away from me and releases it. Then she turns to me face to face.

"You're different from my other friends. There was only one I ever felt like this about when someone kissed them. It's different because I'm you know boys' town and now I'm suddenly wanting to kiss a new close friend."

Willow looks so honest now that I almost feel like my voice would ruin everything should I speak.

I can't help wanting to see what a real kiss is like.

"You can if you want," my voice wavers even at almost a whisper and I feel like I'm made of stone.

"Are you sure? Even after Ms. Slutty She-Devil?" I can't move but somehow manage to nod my head.

I release a shaky breath as Willow's face comes closer into view. Her skin is more like peaches than ivory up close. I can see and count the numerous freckles so light that hide on her nose and cheeks. Most of all, I can't stop noticing how Willow's eyes put me in a thrall that I don't want to escape from.

A warm hand steadies my trembles and I can't decide if that'll help or feeling Willow will make it worse.

"It's okay. It's just me," she whispers tenderly before soft pink lips touch mine.

It's gentle and what I need right now. Our lips brush together once, twice and then I feel our heads tilt to get closer. There is no tongue in this kiss. It's my first kiss and something that scares me and makes me euphoric at the same time. The slender hand cups my cheeks and pushes me closer.

I can see why humans enjoy this so much.

As we kiss, only three things pop into my mind.

I wish my skin was softer.

I wish I was more experienced.

I wish she'd never stop kissing me.

All good things come to an end though and we reluctantly pull away.

"I don't know what you are but you mean a lot to me," Willow whispers to me and it seems like a secret only for us.

I can feel my cheeks flush and then pale at what I have to do.

"Do you know me?" My voice is almost completely silent.

"I don't know what you are. I think you're human," Willow does a small chuckle and I don't join but pull away.

"Define human."


	12. Define Human

"Define human."

Willow draws back a little hesitant and confused.

"Briar?"

"I need to tell you something," I am scared to look into Willow's eyes as I confess what I am.

"My mother wasn't just black. She was human."

Willow is so quiet I could almost believe I was talking to myself if I couldn't hear her nearly silent breaths.

"Eura was my mother's partner. She was wild and stupid and thought she was in love with my mother Rosalia. Eura used our shapeshifting to become a man for Rosalia. How was my mother to know Eura was a Vila? She became pregnant with me and you know the rest," I look up experimentally and see Willow's eyes are darkened in what I don't know.

"Veel-leah?"

I shake my head. "Veel-ah. Vila."

"What are vila?

"You could almost consider us nymphs. We come from Europe," I smile weakly. "The sirens were our cousin. The first Vila was cursed and lived near the ocean so most of us are dependent on water. After reaching majority, we can control all the elements. Most vila hate men so they're women scorned. Vila used to use our bodies to punish males for lies, cheating, etc. I don't know if more will come but I needed to tell you just in case," I smile weakly at Willow but she doesn't return the gesture.

I wish I was surprised but I am not.

"Is this what you meant when you said your family was magical but not Wiccan?"

I nod in confirmation but watch for any sign Willow wants me to leave.

"I almost don't want to know but what do you mean 'use their bodies'? Did they do it to kill them?" Willow's voice almost screeches at the mention of it. "That seems a little too much. Since when has it became deadly?"

I mimic Willow from earlier and shrug my shoulders. "They could have just used their looks. No one has called us ugly before. We've been bred into almost perfection. It's almost impossible for Vila to be ugly. Even then, we have an allure at least for men."

"Allure?" Willow repeats after me and I wonder if she heard me the first time.

"Yes," I answer patiently. "We draw men in like moths to a flame. They don't know they're dead until it's too late."

"You better not be doing that! It's not good. It's kind of evil when I think about it. No killing!" Willow's pointer finger moves in my direction and I feel oddly scolded. "Killing is of the bad and we kill the bad ans I don't want to kill you so no killing!"

"I haven't killed," I answer truthfully. "Anyway, you still need to learn about our gifts and how they might have came to be."

Willow quiets down so I can finish talking.

"The first was cursed and she lived in a village near the ocean. She became lonely and turned other scorned women into Vila so she wouldn't be alone. Some Vila can have children including the first's bloodline so we think our moving and breeding with others has expanded our powers.

"There's demon evolution? How very Darwin!" Willow exclaims this and I'm not sure if she's talking to me or herself.

"I believe so. Originally, we only controlled water but the other elements have been added in. Our looks have also differentiated much. Most have pale skin and look at me," I gesture to myself. My skin though darker than Willow's is a light bronze color I'd seen on pictures of statues.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I want you to be safe," I answer honestly. "Some Vila won't hesitate to kill someone in the way and I don't want you to get hurt."

Willow leans backs and adjusts until she's almost against the wall.

I sigh but stay sitting near until Willow decides to speak.

I hear the Wiccan sigh and turn my head towards her.

"I understand if you don't want to talk to me after this," I try to keep my eyes locked on Willow's so she knows that I'm telling the truth. "I just didn't want to lie."

"Have you lied? Have you lied about anything to me? At all?"

I grin a little and shake my head.

"I can sing," I confess. "It's hard though because people come to me when I sing. I suppose it's a natural reaction. I don't know how to dance. I have a hard time being around people. I like you."

Willow almost pouts and makes a hmmm sound before looking at me again.

"I've dated a werewolf before," she admitted. "A boy werewolf," Willow adds. "I've seen my alternate...universe," at this point Willow struggles to explain. "-vampire...doppelganger...person who was kinda gay."

"I've never been with anyone before. Once upon a time, I used to idolize Isla."

"What changed?"

"You."

"What do you mean?"

"I came here and found out you're not supposed to act like you like others and then act like you hate them," a vague image of Isla appears in my head. "You taught me that."

A small thinking sound escapes Willow's small mouth.

"I think I can handle that," she begins and I can see she's thinking out loud again. "You're a Vila. I like a Vila. I like a half Vila. I like a half Vila who hates coffee and that was kissed by a Ms. Slutty She-Devil."

I laugh a little at how her mind works.

"I still don't like her. She's all with the you're-mine-kisses and you-should-leave-looks and I don't like her," Willow declares and somehow I doubt I can change her mind.

"My grin is now a little sheepish as I ask "Does this mean she can't sleep in my room?"

Willow gapes at me and her eyes become so much wider on her face.

"Briar, I don't want her in your room. Did you not hear about the you're-mine-kisses? You were there," she points out to me. "I don't want her kissing you! At all!"

"Isla-"

"Ms. Slutty She-Devil-" Willow corrects.

"-has nowhere to go," I continue as if never interrupted. "She just has to rest from traveling so far so that she can go back home. Please," I beg. "With chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate and Hershey bars."

"That's a lot of chocolate," Willow points out.

"Please," I beg again. I don't want to fight Willow about this after we've just had my first kiss.

"Fine," Willow gives in first and I don't know if it's my eyes or my voice that helped get my way.

"Thank you," I say gratefully and kiss her on the cheek.

It feels like silk against my lips.

"Do you want to go back to the smoochies?"

Smoochies? Are those kisses? I wouldn't mind more kisses.

I nod eagerly and smile when her lips touch mine.

I like 'smoochies'.


	13. I Love 'Studying'

I can get used to visits like this.

Here we are in my room 'studying.' I don't think we're really studying at this point. Studying would mean trying to memorize the material in front of us to better our education. At this point, I should just put away my textbooks and notes so they won't get out of place and be lost.

I won't though.

I'm perfectly happy with the facade of studying when it allows me to study Willow.

It's fun to catch her looking back.

On cue, a head of darkened red gold rises and I see the Wiccan's fawn eyes looking back at me.

I smile catching her stares and Willow flushes at being caught.

Playing with Willow is more fun than studying.

I look back down to my notes and frown.

What subject am I working on again?

What an I even doing?

I could feel the the corners of my mouth lower in my confusion.

Now I feel Willow watching me again but start putting my notes and textbooks on the floor.

I lean back and lower myself back onto the mattress and I can feel my hair touching my neck.

My back relaxes and a vague ache begins as the strain of sitting up ends.

"What are you doing? You sleepy? If you are, it's fine. I can just go to the science-"

I smile at the back and look at Willow.

"I'm relaxing," I tell her. "You can stay though. I would like it if you stayed," I confess and mindlessly touch the aquamarine gemstone resting right above my chest.

Willow smiles at me and my heart is quick to stop knowing she's smiling at me.

"I'll stay for a little longer."

Willow herself puts her textbook on the floor and I wonder why.

Willow's eyes have darkened again and remind me of the chocolate I love so much.

They stare at the bed almost in concentration.

Does Willow want to lay down on my bed with me?

I slide farther away from the wall getting as close to the edge as I dare.

"You can lay down with me if you want."

My voice sounds so much deeper now even when quiet.

Willow grins at me just raising pink lips again.

"No monkey business?" She questions and I wonder if the Wiccan's serious.

"There are no monkeys in this room," I say firmly to reassure. "If you do want some, they can be found in captivity in yoos."

"Yoos?" She repeats.

"Yes. I haven't gone but heard many different animals are held there."

Willow laughs and the sound makes me want to laugh with her if I knew what was so funny.

"Zoos," she says mirth still in her voice. "They're called zoos."

A little sheepish, I smile even though it's small.

"You are so cute," Willow coos at me smiling. "With your yoos, chocolate and naivety."

I can feel my forehead wrinkle before I speak.

"This cuteness you speak of..it's a good thing?" I question.

"It's a great thing," Willow reassures nodding kind of hard. "Girls shouldn't always be with the slutty. Cute people make you laugh and smile. They're the best kind."

I nod reassured and pat the empty space beside me.

"Lay with me, please."

Willow raises an eyebrow and tilts her head. The expression makes me smile and my stomach turn in the best of ways.

My smile widens when Willow stays there with that same lifted brow expression.

I think I understand 'cute'.

I pat the bed again.

"Please," I add.

Willow's face relaxes as she starts to crawling to the space.

"Let's try again. No funny business?"

It seems redundant to answer since Willow is already coming but I answer anyway.

"We can do something, sure. Not sure if it'll be funny though," I mutter distracted watching Willow finally making it beside me.

I can feel the warm cotton of her sweater against her skin.

Strawberry blond has darkened into almost ruby in the darkness and frame Willow's head like a fiery rainbow.

The darkness seems to amplify just how beautiful Willow is but light enough we can see each other.

I imagine this must be what falling stars feel like.

Completely terrified, they fall with no idea where their going but knowing it's the best thing to ever happen.

I feel almost electric and swallow quietly.

"We can hang out outside of the room," she suggests laying beside me and I can feel the warmth of Willow's skin against mine.

Our hands are so close they are almost touching.

That inch difference feels like mile away.

"Are you sure you have the upper body strength to hold yourself up that long? Wouldn't your arms get tired?" I question distracted.

The Wiccan is kind of tall yes but she's so lean...

Willow laughs and I realize I've misunderstood today's speech yet again.

"I mean like dates. You know...ummm...going out together?"

I think about it before asking.

"Should I be the first to ask?"

Willow shakes her head frowning.

"I'm already planning something so don't worry."

By chance, her eyes glance at a small clock in the corner and widen.

"I have to leave for Buffy's surprise birthday party."

"I've never had a birthday party before. I almost wish I could go."

Willow frowns apologetic.

"I know it's just you haven't met everyone and I like what we have now. The last time I introduced someone he left and it's just.." she struggles to put her thoughts into words.

"We're so new that I don't want to jinx it." Willow finishes.

I can't help turning myself onto my side and kissing her.

Willow tastes like Pepsi and her lips are still so very soft.

I feel surrounded almost like I'm drowning but can't help enjoying every second of it.

Willow withdraws first and sighs.

I would think pillows should be made from Willow's lips but that would mean no lips for Willow which translates into no 'smoochies' for me

I love it when Willow smiles like this: relaxed and euphoric.

Pink lips are spread into a grin and I see the perfect whiteness of her teeth. I'll keep Willow's lips to myself.

"I'm late! I need to go!" Willow nearly shouts and stumbles off the bed.

Soft lips peck at my cheeks before she leaves and I watch the door shut.

I lean back down and sigh.

I love 'studying'.


	14. Scooby Dooby Doo

"I just feel so guilty," Willow confesses over the small table.

I can feel my lips thin in an attempt to not frown and let Willow keep speaking.

I don't like it when Willow feels bad.

"Giles looked so hurt last night. I mean it's not like us Scoobies were trying to leave him out. We honestly forgot he didn't know about the Initiative or Buffy's commando boyfriend. Now that we're together it seems like one more secret too. I don't like this feeling but I like being with you by myself'"

Willow's eyebrows furrow and three wrinkles appear on flawless cream and rose skin. Small lips are stuck in a pout over a secret she feels she can't or won't tell.

That secret would be me.

"Giles is your father? So when you tell them, I need to get his approval too? This is a lot of people. There's your blonde friend who slightly scares me known as Buffy. You have a male you liked in the 'Scoobies' that apparently turned into a hyena. Now you have a Giles. I am very confused," I admit.

"Giles is my kinds sorta dad but not. I mean he didn't make me but Giles is here and I love him like a dad and he loves me like a daughter so kinds sort yes with a hint of no."

I grin with a closed mouth at Willow's babble.

"As for the Scoobies, there's more. The ex-vengeance demon Anya whose dating Xander which I can't explain for the life of me. You already know about Xander: the old crush and ex-hyena?"

I nod confirming.

"I just don't like lying. I'm not good with the lies. I'm more of a avoided-girl so I don't have to."

"It's not lying," I reassure gently taking her hand in comfort. "It's omission."

"Isn't omission lying?" Willow questions and when she looks at with me like that, I can't seem to think at all.

"I don't think it is," I say disagreeing. "Omission can save lives just like ignorance is bliss. You shouldn't debate this too deeply though or you'll get a headache and I don't like it when you hurt," I advise.

Willow nods but stills seems stuck about not telling Giles.

"Maybe you can tell him soon," I propose a new plan. "You can wait a couple of days or more until you think we're ready. I just don't want them to find out in a bad situation."

A nod makes Willow's hair follow the up and down motion slightly from the short haircut.

"We should talk about something else," Willow smiles at me a little embarrassed. "This isn't really first date talk, is it?"

I shrug my shoulders still with a small smile on my face.

"How are your classes?"

"They're a little challenging," I admit. "I love it though. Psychology helps me better understand sociology, the study of how society works? I think I might major in it."

"How are your classes?" I say repeating the question.

"I wouldn't know," Willow says with a smile. "I've been studying with someone lately but can't get any work done," she teases.

I smile at the teasing.

"That's the best kind of studying."

"It's of the good," Willow chirps from across the table.

"This is a get to know you situation right?"

"Yeah, first dates usually are."

"I can do that. I don't like men," I confess.

Willow chuckles.

"Isn't that kind of obvious?"

I shake my head.

"You misunderstand. Eura said all men are evil and can never stay faithful. She says they only work to get what they want no matter how many broken hearts the men leave in their wake."

Willow frowns.

"That's so cynical. Trust me, there are good one. Xander...no...he's obsessed with it. Angel...no...he went evil. Giles," Willow almost announces. "He's not like that at all."

"The men at the party were like that," I say defending my teachings somewhat politely. "Even some of the men at UC Sunnydale. They talk about me but aren't confident enough to come near."

Willow's brows furrow again.

"You shouldn't frown so much. You'll get wrinkles," I say gently.

"I don't like the thought of other people wanting you. I never thought of myself as jealous-girl but I think I am. I don't like it when people want who I want especially if they want me back. I'm sure you want me, right?"

"Of course I do. If I didn't why would I be here? You don't need to worry about that with me."

Willow smiles at the confirmation and starts getting up.

"Where are you going?"

Willow takes my hand and helps pull me up.

She puts some money on the table and half drags me out of the small restaurant.

Where are we going now?  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"They do this all the time?" I say staring intensely at the screen.

"Oh!" I exclaim." You're the Scoobies because like Mystery Inc. you catch monsters!"

Willow hmms and I can feel her stare but am focusing on the movie .

"Now whose the smart one?" she quizzes me eager.

"Velma. I like smart girls," I say looking up to speak to Willow but refocusing on the television playing the theme song.

I hear Willow sputter and imagine her cheeks turning the pink of roses.

"Let's see if you were really watching the movie."

"I was," I defend myself weakly. "You're pretty though and I like kissing you so it's your fault I was kissing you," I point out smiling. "Besides, you kissed me back."

"Anyway-" Willow starts knowing I'm right.

I start laughing at her omission.

"Now whose the girl in purple?" Willow finishes smiling but semi-serious.

"Daphne. She's damsel in distress."

"Who does Shaggy have for a pet?"

"Scooby."

"Now what doe he say?" the Wiccan inches even closer and I can feel the denim against my skin again.

I glance up at Willow smiling and taking a deep breath. 

"Scooby dooby doo," I howl in imitation of the famous talking dog.

Willow bursts out laughing.

I wish that everyday was like this.


	15. Was that supposed to happen?

Knock.

Kno-

The second knock hasn't even before before I'm standing.

A smile spreads on my face at the noise and I run to the door.

I open the door and the smile on my face widens when I see the Wiccan.

The fluorescent lights in the hallway make Willow look ethereal. Her golden undertones in almost bright red hair make Willow seem enchanted. Pale skin seems to almost glow in those lights. It only takes one step for a total transformation.

Her hair is almost in flames in my room's shadows.

The Wiccan's skin seems even darker in the darkness

I wonder how my heart can handle seeing Willow so much when it either races or stops.

Willow's smile is gentle and shows perfect straight white teeth.

"Hi, Briar."

My cheeks almost ache with how much the sight of Willow makes me smile.

"Hey, Willow. Do you think we'll ever get better at the greeting thing?"

The question isn't meant to be funny but Willow laughs a little anyway.

"Maybe next time we start with a kiss?" She suggests.

I nod perhaps a little too eagerly.

Willow only smiles at my enthusiasm and if my wanting to kiss her makes her happy, who am I to complain?

I love those kisses just as much if not more.

"I have something for us to try," the Wiccan starts and I just now see the book and flower in her hand.

It's a fully bloomed red rose.

"We'll have to sit for it though and be close. Do you mind?"

My forehead wrinkles in confusion.

"Why would I mind touching you? You're Willow," I raise my hand to point briefly at her before lowering my hand. "Who would ever mind touching you?"

Willow blushes at my words and I wonder if she believes them.

I don't have too much time to wonder because Willow plants herself in the middle of my carpet.

Willow looks up at me expectantly.

What does she want me to do?

Willow crosses her long legs and I am distracted by the movement.

A pale hand pats the space in front of her and I realize what Willow is asking for.

Now we will both sit on the carpet.

I settle myself on the carpet trying to get comfortable. It's kind of hard actually. The thin cotton I enjoy offer no protection from the itchy fabric. The beige monstrosity is as irritating as with the 'Wiccan group.'

I really do need to buy some pants.

Willow uses some white chalk from where I don't know where and starts drawing a pentagram in the fabric.

"What are we doing again?" I ask intrigued at the shape on the dorm floor.

"Oh," Willow gets flustered and I realize she forgot to tell me what's happening.

I grin at Willow to show she's forgiven.

Willow was probably too excited to really think.

She's so 'cute'.

"It's a spell," Willow begins to explain.

"It's a test of synchronicity," she continues. " We need to be in perfect sync for this to work," Willow finishes explaining and her eyes are locked on mine.

Does Willow really think we can be in sync?

Does she think we're really that compatible?

It's apparently my turn to redden because I can already feel my cheeks flushing.

" What are we supposed to do exactly?" I ask trying to fight off my blush.

"Right," Willow said embarrassed. "We hold hands and focus on the rose. Then we're supposed to levitate the rose and slowly pick off the petals using magics."

I stretch out my arms toward Willow bending at the elbow.

I show her my palms: an open invitation for hand holding.

Willow grasps them and I feel warm smooth skin.

All air seems to have escaped from the room when I feel Willow's soft hands.

A breeze appears in the room cooling off my suddenly over heated skin.

I close my eyes because now they seem too heavy to keep open.

It's funny how much I can feel right now.

I feel Willow's palm in mine.

I feel the carpet against my feet.

Now I feel something lifting.

I open my eyes and am incredulous that the rose is floating in midair.

Having and seeing your magic are two very different things.

The rose placidly sits in thin air with every rose petal exposed and I see ruby petal slowly fell to the ground.

The peacefulness of the moment is interrupted when the rose becomes violent in the blink of an eye.

One moment, Willow and I are enjoying watching the petals fall and the next watching it fly as if insane knocking over everything in its path.

It flies across the room as if possessed. I duck and pull Willow down as it nearly misses our heads. I hear some of my papers fly and see the white sheets flutter in the wind. Their crinkling is the only sound in the room.

We duck again as the rose once again tries to behead us.

This isn't right.

No rose should be flying in my dorm without my magic. No rose should be trying to hit the both of us in every turn.

We duck in unison as the rose swoops in once more and I've had enough.

At the last turn, I shield both Willow and I.

The only signs we're in my bubble is the muted noise and the blurry vision.

The rose bounces off the shield and crash lands on the ground.

I end the shield but watch cautiously wary of what it will do next.

Willow and I watch the rose in silence when it suddenly moves. Abruptly, the rose suddenly is encased in flames.

The petals are reduced to ash smoldering on the carpet.

The smell of smoke pollutes the cramped space that is my dorm.

All that remains is a single rose petal.

"Was that supposed to happen?"


	16. Almost Better With Kisses

"It was a rose guided missile! All," Willow stops to make a sound with her mouth that sounds vaguely like a plane.

I grin at Willow's description of yesterday's spell mishap.

"Don't forget how you ran away afterwards," I continue to grin to show I'm not mad. "I'm almost hurt at how fast you ran."

"Well, how do I make it better?"

I pretend to think about it before deciding.

"A kiss," I declare.

Willow smiles at what I ask for.

"That's all you want? A kiss?"

I nod still smiling.

"Can I have a kiss?" I rephrase my demand almost sure I won't be denied.

Willow laughs and eagerly leans in.

"Do you think you have to ask?"

I go cross eyed trying to look into Willow's eyes.

I hear her snicker and pout at the Wiccan's laugh.

"That's not funny," I whine a little. "I want more kisses then."

Willow makes a small awww sound at the expression on my face.

"Is the poor baby begging for kisses?" She coos.

We're so close now I can feel our noses touch.

I nod leaning even closer.

"You can have as many kisses as you want," Willow says and finally our lips touch.

I really like kissing Willow.

I like how our lips glide and meet in perfect sync.

I like the way Willow almost hovers when we kiss with one hand always in contact with my skin.

One or both of us run out of air and gently withdraw.

Willow's kisses are addictive.

Kisses make everything better.

"Do you remember Giles?" Willow settles herself a little further away as she talks.

"He's your father but not father."

Willow smiles.

"I like that you listen. Do you remember anything else about Giles?"

"You feel really guilty not telling him about everything including me. It's normally just a case of forgetting."

Willow nods and smiles.

"You got it. I ran out yesterday to let the Scoobies know what's going on? Then Giles went missing and we were looking for him. Then we thought a demon took him and it turns out he turned into a demon," her face looks shocked like this isn't normal but I still feel a need to ask.

"Is this a regular day for you? Something happening that turns the Scoobies into Mystery Inc.?

Willow stops to think it though and I realize I have my answer.

"We're not just Mystery Inc.," she explains patiently. "We go all Ghost Buster sometimes but mostly Demon Buster? They should have a franchise for that too.."

Willow dissolves into babble that I don't really want to stop.

"-almost racist? Demonist? Why are only ghosts only worthy of a show? Why not demons too?"

When Willow stops to breath, I smile and only say one world.

"Willow."

She blushes and looks down at my sheets.

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I just wanted to make sure you could breathe."

Willow's grin is small but still there with some hair covering her face.

"More than Mystery Inc. Is what I was trying to say. We kill demons and apocalypses."

"There's a plural of apocalypse?" I ask shocked.

"I know right?" Willow answers agreeing. "I Iooked it up just to make sure."

"Do you mind the whole save-the-world thing?" The Wiccan asks.

I shake my head.

"No, it's fine. I just wondered."

"What else are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking on how to phrase it," I say a little tense.

"Should I be worried?" Willow jokes but her smile leaves when mine doesn't rise. "Should I?"

"Why are you able to stop apocalypses but not tell them about me?"

Willow looks up and seems to stare right into me.

"It's different," she stresses. "I'm saving the world and the Scoobies are all on the same side. I'm not sure they'll understand. I don't even understand. It's just better to be a secret right now."

"Nobody can know? No one can know about me? I'm not asking to be introduced as your girlfriend. I would just like to know the people you talk about so often."

Willow looks almost panicked at my words.

"Are you upset? I don't want you upset. I don't want you sad. Does not knowing them really bother you?"

Willow looks so torn that I don't want to answer.

"Honestly?"

Willow's face crumbles a little more when I ask.

"I want to know the truth."

"I just feel so hidden," I can already feel my eyebrows wrinkle and sigh. "I just so feel temporary when we talk about your friends and I know I'm not involved. Do you not want them to know me?"

"It's not that," Willow protests and comes closer. "I do. I just like it being only us too! I like not needing to share you. Don't you?"

"I get lonely," I confess. "It's amazing having you but I do want to meet some of your friends. I don't mind not meeting Giles or the ex. I don't," I persist. "I'd just like to meet Anya."

"Why Anya?"

"She understands about males and being more human."

If anything that troubles Willow even more.

"You are human..to me," she amends.

"I just would like to meet your friends."

"I'll try," Willow promises and holds my hands like they're made of glass.

"I just need more us time. Right now, I just want to concentrate on us. Can we wait a little later for you to meet them?" She pleads.

I nod a little disappointed.

"Are you upset?"

"A little," I answer honestly.

Willow smiles.

"I'll make it better," she says leaning forward.

Then I feel soft lips brush against mine.

I was wrong before.

Everything's almost better with kisses.

Almost.


	17. Gift Thing

"I miss Buffy," Willow murmurs.

I don't say a word.

Rosy short hair is in my grasp and I am too happy to feel it's softness.

It is so silky that it slips though my fingers like water.

"We never hang out anywhere," Willow continues from my lap. "She's always busy with her new boyfriend and the Initiative. I get it's all exciting to have new friends but the old ones are here too," she draws out extra o's in the last word.

I smile down at Willow's face.

"I'm sure it's just temporary," I reassure her still trying to soothe the Wiccan with my caresses. "The Initiative seems very militaristic so she's probably just helping them relax."

Willow gives out a small sigh.

"I'd be so lonely without you," she suddenly says. "Can I be honest?"

"I'll make a promise to you," I say instead of a definite yes." Whenever you're in my lap, no lies can escape those lips so yes you can be honest."

I continue to caress Willow's hair and feel the tension gradually leaving.

"When I played poker with Xander and Anya last night, I felt so left out," she confides." Xander was my first friend but he's with Anya. I don't love Xander like that anymore," Willow is quick to reassure me. "He has all these inside jokes with Anya I don't have and now I'm a third wheel. I'm not a bike! I'm like a brand spanking new car! You know with the new car smell and with the four wheels? Speaking of spanks, they spank!"

"Each other?" I ask and am so shocked I stop petting Willow.

"Hey," she whines and those rare fawn eyes look into mine." I didn't say stop with the touches! I like the Briar touch!"

"Poor Willow!" I coo her resuming my caresses." What can I do to make it before?"

"Kiss me," she says smiling wide and I can see every alabaster tooth. Her eyes crinkled at the corners with enflamed hair surrounded Willow's hair and now I need to kiss Willow.

I aim for Willow's lips and feel velvet smooth lips glide against mine.

It's the first time I have controlled our kiss and I feel a thrill go up my spine.

Willow makes a whining sound at my slowness and then I feel a slender hand push me closer.

Kissing Willow is kind of like drowning

I feel surrounded on all sides but don't want to move.

I want to drown in Willow.

Willow reluctantly pulls back and I place one last kiss on her lips; a peck really.

"You're getting good at this," she praises me breathless and I smile.

"I had a great teacher," I say still smiling,

Willow says nothing but looks at me and it makes me wonder what she's seeing.

I almost want to bring back up meeting some of her friends when Willow finally speaks.

"You can meet them," she says a little more easily. "Soon. I promise. It's just hard to get everyone at the same place at the same time."

I grin with a closed mouth at the concession.

"I understand," I say with the same gentle grin. "You just want to find the right time."

Willow nods eagerly smiling.

"You get me so much," the Wiccan looks in absolute bliss as she raises herself to kiss me,

I feel small pink lips kiss the corner of my mouth.

"I can wait," I see and see the thin emerald outline in the iris of mostly fawn colored eyes. "As long as you need, I can wait."

"Forever?" Willow questions and now I have a feeling we're no longer talking about me meeting with the Scoobies.

"Forever."

On the left hand corner of my desk is a box.

It is wooden and still shone a bright copper like a brand new penny. White flowers are painted on its surface at random to create a heirloom that is priceless.

It is priceless because it was hers.

My mother must have loved me if she left me her childhood box of treasures.

I am gentle opening the box yet it still creams in age.

Inside, my things are in the same place as when I moved in.

It's amazing how a box half the size of my pillow can fit so many important objects.

My fingers thin and long are careful looking for this one gift.

I feel something hard and edged and take a look.

The off white color confirms that I've found what I'm looking for.

It's the doll's eye crystal.

Doll's eye crystals are exceedingly rare.

They're used to magnify power in spells.

Considering what Willow does on a daily basis, she needs this one more than me anyway.

I knew I had a couple with me.

I study it intently looking for any fractures that could potentially put Willow at risk.

Pleased to not have found one, I hurry out the room to find Willow.

The grass yields to my weight easily and I feel the tickle of each strand.

The sun is painting Willow's hair the most beautiful shade of reddish blonde and making her glow in a way that no other should be capable.

"Briar, what am I doing here?" Willow asks with a slight smile." You know I love our time because hello us together," her voice heightens as if it is dreadfully obvious. "-but you being all secret girl is making my tummy feel all icky."

I blush a little even though I know we like being together because it's nice hearing the Wiccan say it.

"I have a surprise for you," I begin staring into familiar almost hazel eyes.

"Is it a gift? I like gifts. You didn't have to get me one but I'm so happy you did, Now I feel kinda bad I didn't cause hey who doesn't like presents?"

Willow leans closer to the point that her head is nearly in my lap.

"You won't see it until you close your eyes," I warn moving my occupied hand so she can't see what's inside it.

The almost strawberry pouts but shuts her eyes.

"Give me your hands and no peaking," the sternness of my words is almost nonexistent because even I can hear the smile in my voice.

Two cream and rose hands move towards me palms up.

As I gently maneuver the crystal into Willow's hands, I cant help myself from kissing her still pouting mouth.

I like how eager she is to kiss back,

Pearl pink lips and mine meet until our smiles make kissing impossible.

Willow opens her eyes and smiles brightly at me before looking down.

"Is this what I think it is?" her eyes are glued to the crystal in her hands.

"It would depend on what you think," I answer honestly. "It's not just a rock but based on your reaction, I think you know that."

"How did you find this?" her eyes finally look back up to see me.

"In my room."

"I cant take it then," Willow shakes it head and tried to pass the crystal back to me.

"No," I say stubbornly. "You are doing this whole thing wrong. I give you a gift then if you like it, you thank me and we hug. You can't just give it back that's rude."

The expression on my face must make Willow rethink her decision but she still asks,

"No givsies backsies?"

"If that means you can't give it back, then yes," I say resolutely. "If it makes you feel better, Eura has given me at least three more."

"Three?"

"Yes. I could've sworn you understood," my eyebrows furrow of their own accord. "Eura is very divided about me. Sometimes she wants me suffocatingly close and others Eura seems to want me to disappear. To make up for it, she gives me things...rare things."

"Why do you want me to have one?" Willow inquires staring straight at me as if I could ever lie to her.

"I care about you. This crystal will help keep you safe and that's why it's yours now. I wil warn you though: if I find that crystal back in my dorm, I will take it as a personal insult."

She smiles at me a big wide one that is rare to see on Willow's face.

"Guess I have to keep it then," the Wiccan teases. "Do you want that hug now?"

I nod and feel my hair bob with me.

She scoots closer until our knees touch.

Slender arms hold onto me tight primarily around my waist and I love the sensation.

I return the hug as best as I can smiling about touching Willow.

"Thank you," she murmurs and I shiver feeling the warm breath on my bare shoulders.

I could get used this gift thing.


	18. Irony's Kind of Ironic That Way

I really like kisses.

 

You don't understand, I really do.

 

Maybe it's just Willow's kisses I like.

 

Maybe it's just there's always one silky palm across my cheekbone as if to keep me in place.

 

Maybe it's how the other hand touches my waist to pull me close or sometimes closes into a fist with my shirt in an conflicting gentle grip.

 

Either way, I love the kisses Willow gives me.

 

The fabric that makes my comforter seems so coarse compared to the feel of her skin.

 

I nip at Willow's lip gently tugging and the soft groan that escapes makes my heart beat even faster.

 

Deceptively strong, her arms seem focused on making us one body and not two.

 

I trail my kisses from swollen plum pink lips down to a smooth pale neck.

 

"I like the necking," Willow says breathing hard.

 

The taste of Willow's skin is addictive.

 

Is it wrong I'd be ecstatic to keep doing this all night?

 

Another soft groan escapes the Wiccan when I suck gently on her pulse.

 

Her heart beats just as fast if not faster than mine.

 

I place a placating kiss under her cheekbone.

 

My chest heaves from so many kisses but it's not something I'm stopping.

 

Willow's eyes seem almost glazed when her eyes find mine but clear rapidly.

 

I bestow a slow long kiss on the Wiccan's swollen lips and can't help the almost tremor that happens every time Willow kisses back.

 

My lips leave a trail of almost kisses in their wake to other side of her neck: more lips than kisses.

 

I can taste the unique sweetness of her skin and it's intoxicating.

 

"I feel conflicted," Willow announces disturbing the symmetry of kisses I am laying.

 

I retreat confused at the sudden need for words.

 

Was I kissing wrong?

 

We are laying here on my bed just breathing side by side. The soft comforter is all but ignored in favor of Willow's body heat.

 

"I'd love to keep kisses and becoming because now I don't need vicarious smooches but I have to leave soon. I'm seeing Xander, Anya and Buffy there. I don't want to leave now either but I haven't seen Buffy in days and we're roommates," she babbles.

 

"It's okay. I'd ask if I could go if I think I already know the answer," I smile even though I don't want to and don't feel like kissing anymore.

 

Now my stomach has a weird heavy feel and it makes me feel sick.

 

"Briar, you know it's not personal right? I mean I really like you. I don't normally smooch this much at first but you're so soft...and sweet..and now I really don't want to go."

 

"I won't ask," I say trying to make Willow feel better. "I know, Soon. You said you'd tell them soon and I told you. I'll wait...forever if need be."

 

"I do want to tell them," Willow tries again.

 

"I know the chances are infinitesimal you'd be ready to introduce me: too small to count. Yes, I read the dictionary," I say going slightly off topic.

 

Willow tries to smile but it's small and short lived.

 

"I'll be fine," I say honestly. "Go with the Scoobies. I will see you tomorrow or in a couple days."

 

"Are you sure?" she questions again.

 

I grin at Willow.

 

"Go," I urge her. " I'll be fine."

 

Willow still looks torn as she rises off my bed.

 

I give Willow a small peck goodbye.

 

"Have fun," I say softly smiling.

 

Willow tries to speak again.

 

"It's just a Scooby thing. No one is bringing a non-Scooby-"

 

"Have fun," I repeat harder.

 

"See you Briar."

 

Soft pink lips touch mine in a goodbye kiss and I smile.

 

Willow leaves and I let my smile drop.

 

I am surprised when a little over a hour later, I hear someone knocking on my door.

 

I am even more surprised to see my visitor.

 

There Willow stands looking as nervous as ever near my door.

 

Her small mouth is pursed and I never thought someone could have such large and expressive eyes that screamed let me in than right now.

 

"I thought you and the Scoobies were going to the Gold," I say confused in the doorway.

 

Willow smiles at me still in the hallway.

 

It's small and timid but still Willow.

 

I smile back without thinking.

 

"It's the Bronze," she corrects me gently. "As for why I'm here, irony's kind of ironic that way."

 

I open my door wider.

 

"Tell me about it."

 

Willow's smile is wider and more relaxed when she enters my room.

 

I immediately head for my bed and lay down.

 

"Cuddles?" Willow questions.

 

I nod grinning.

 

"Then you're really not mad."

 

I sigh a little but keep grinning.

 

"I told you I wasn't," I remind her.

"Can I be the big spoon?"

 

I furrow my eyebrows at the question.

 

"I don't have any utensils but tomorrow I'll buy some if you want some so much."

 

Willow smiles in that endearing way that lets me know I've misunderstood once again.

 

"I don't mean a literal big spoon," she explains. "Although, there are big spoons. I mean I want to do the holding."

 

"You can do that," I say nodding furthering my consent.

 

I go onto my side and pat behind me.

 

Willow smiles eagerly and I feel the bed move with every one of her crawls.

 

I can feel the instant she's right behind me and hear the sheets wrinkle as Willow gets comfortable.

 

Then I feel a familiar weight on my waist.

 

I could feel Willow exhale and the warm breath make some of my hair move.

 

She wiggled even closer and even pulled me closer. 

 

"Buffy brought strangers to the Scoobies," the Wiccan says softly .

 

 

"I haven't seen her in days and she brought G.I. Joes to the Scoobies. You should've been there and not them."

 

"You'll meet them tomorrow," Willow finishes.

 

I hope that's a promise.

 

 

"I didn't want you to feel left out so you didn't come but she brought the action figures and didn't care if we felt left out. How weird is that?

 

"Irony really is ironic that way," I say remembering what Willow said earlier.

 

 

Author's Note: I couldn't help adding that quote! It always makes me smile!!!


	19. Bride of Frankenstein

This is a feeling I could get used to.

I have no alarm but somehow I start feeling myself wake.

The dorm is almost blue now from my pitch black drapes.

Maybe the new lightning woke me.

Maybe it's the weight of what's around me.

What's on me?

I glance down to see for sure what it is.

Oh.

I recognize the almost frail looking arm even in this unfamiliar lighting.

Willow fell asleep here?

I remember Willow coming over last night.

There was an arm around me then too.

We must have fell asleep while cuddling.

I lean back down and try to put my arm under the pillow.

I hear Willow grumble behind me at the manuever.

"Shhh," I hush her softly trying not to wake Willow.

She fusses a little more but settling down.

I can feel Willow's breathing against my hair and Willow brings me in even closer.

I decide not to move anymore.

I don't want to wake up Willow.

Closing my eyes, I try to go back to sleep.

The next time I wake up, it's to the oddest sensation.

It feels like someone is touching my hair.

I'm not sure if any human would have been roused by the light touches.

There is no tugging or pulling.

I can feel almost pets starting at my scalp onwards.

There is only person I know that would be touching my hair.

"Willow?" My voice is a little rough with sleep but not very loud.

"Hi, Sleeping Beauty," Willow says softly in my ear.

I turn my head towards her.

"Hey, Willow. It's nice to see you. Whose Sleeping Beauty?"

Willow laughs a little before answering.

"A beautiful princess who fell asleep for a hundred years and woke up to a kiss. I'll show you the movie later."

"I could be Sleeping Beauty for a kiss," I muse still a little drowsy.

Willow takes a hint and I feel soft lips touch mine.

She pulls away quick though and makes a face.

"I don't like the pulling away," I whine.

"But I'm all icky," Willow protests. "I need to get with the brushing and the showering probably with extra toothpaste."

"Poor Willow," I tease.

"Poor me. My mouth feels all dry and smells like something died in there."

I make a point now to lean forward and press my lips against hers.

"I smell nothing," I declare. "You can use one of my extra toothbrushes if it bothers you so much. I honestly don't mind."

"I should be getting up anyway. Buffy should be either there or on her way there and I don't want to answer the questions if I'm not there."

"I would fight harder but I need to get up myself soon."

As I speak, I push myself myself up so I'm in the sitting position.

"Am I still meeting the Scoobies today?"

"Yeah, you are," Willow confirms behind me. "You still want to meet them?"

"Yeah," I say echoing her beginning statement

"I should really get getting," Willow repeats but still doesn't get off the bed.

"You could stay," I say turning around to face her. "You could borrow a towel and a toothbrush. I'll even let you wear my clothes. We could even do something instead of you leaving."

"Smoochies?"

I nod and feel my hair move with the movement.

"That's not very responsible," Willow muses but her eyes have darkened and are now staring at my lips.

"I noticed you have no counter argument," I say smiling.

Willow sighs and I smile harder knowing I've won.

"I'll just brush and change clothes. Then smoochies," she decides.

I start looking in my bag of toiletries for a toothbrush and take out the extra.

Then, I focus on my closet and finding Willow something to wear.

"I think you can borrow a skirt. I know I have a long skirt," I say thinking out loud.

"Long skirt?"

"Every time I see you you're either in a long skirt or denim," I explain finally finding a skirt for Willow.

She frowns a little thinking about it but shrugs again.

I like being right.

I put the skirt on my dresser and start looking for a shirt.

Grabbing a cardigan and t-shirt, I also place them on the dresser.

I turn around completely facing Willow.

"I need to shower," I confess. "While I shower, why don't you change? Then you can brush your teeth while I change."

"That's of the good," she quips from my bed and I smile.

I like being heard.

It's so much different than with the Vilia.

I try to take my time in the shower so Willow has enough time to get dressed.

I try not to run back to my room but fail.

When I get back, there's Willow fully dressed holding the extra toothbrush.

"I think I should go now," she mutters as soon as I walk in with a face as red as tomatoes.

I frown a little at how quick the Wiccan was to leave but try to ignore it.

By the time Willow gets back, I'm dressed and ready to go.

"Smoochies?" The Wiccan questions as soon as she sees I'm dressed.

"Smoochies," I confirm too happy to kiss Willow.

The Wiccan stops at the door and turns around red hair looking especially vibrant in the sunlight.

"How are you feeling? Are you nervous? Excited? Scared?"

Willow looks worried for me and on a whim I take her hand.

"Yes."

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"To which one?"

I smile.

"All of them of course," I say it as if it's obvious.

Willow smiles and grabs the doorknob.

"Here we go," she mutters and turns the knob.

The door opens and I immediately hear a rather British man say:

"How many times must I say I am not interested?"

"Come on! Just try one. I got three flavors: cherry berry, maple nut and almond licorice."

I look at the Wiccan asking silently what's going on.

She shrugs her shoulders and leaves the doorway.

I hear a woman say "Ew" before Willow comes in.

"Hey," Willow said smiling a little nervous. " I have a new friend that I want to become your friend!" She almost sings the last line.

"New friends! I like friends especially the ugly guy kind."

I walk out behind Willow still holding her hand.

"I think this time I can make an exception."

I smile a little at the compliment.

"Scoobies, this is my......friend...girl...person...my Briar," Willow stalls trying to explain what I am.

"Yours?" The male on the couch echoes. "Your friend girl person? Am I missing something?"

I whisper quietly to Willow.

"The werewolf was your boyfriend right so am I a girlfriend?"

Willow nods hard.

"I'm Briar. I'm Willow's girlfriend."

"Oh. Nice, Wills. You got another girl friend."

Willow slowly shakes her head.

The woman on the couch smiles and speaks.

"Oh! Xander, I get this. Willow is having sex with Briar!"

My eyes widen at such a bold declaration.

Willow gasps and starts shouting.

"Anya, not everything's about sex! Just because you always think about it doesn't mean the rest of humanity does!"

The male that is on the couch that I think is the ex-hyena smiles.

"I beg to differ. I'm always thinking about sex."

"Do kisses count?" I ask Willow quietly.

Willow shakes her head and squeezes my hand.

"Dear Lord," the man I believe is Giles mutters and takes off his glasses cleaning them.

Suddenly, the door opens revealing someone in leather smoking with blue plastic covering them.

The smell of death enters the room and I realize what he is.

What is a vampire doing out during the day?

How is he even invited?

I look around at everyone's reactions and not one person is shocked or surprised.

Am I missing something?

"Spike, this is not a good time."

That is a gross understatement.

"Bugger off," this Spike immediate mutters before shouting "Close the bloody door!"

Going against what he just said, the almost white haired vampire closes the door himself.

"The Initiative shot me. They've been chasing me for hours. I keep running in circles but they keep chase."

"How is this our concern?" Giles asks with a straight face.

"You're the good guys. You help people. Why not help me?"

"Why should I help you again? You said what was it again? Oh. Yes. That you wanted nothing to do us and to solve our own problems. "

"Hurtful," Xander makes a face at what he's just heard.

"Why should I help you?" Giles repeats himself.

"Bloody hell," Spike mutters again before saying louder. "I helped you when you turn into a Fyarl demon! You owe me!"

Giles merely raises an eyebrow.

"Fine, you bloody parasite! Here!" He walks closer and gives Giles the money.

"What happened to it?"

"I needed blood and smokes!" He says in defense to the sounds of disgust.

"Now get with the helping! I haven't got all day!"

I sigh and grind my teeth.

"Get with the helping!" Spike shouts louder.

"Shut up, you parasite!"

I don't realize I'm yelling until the vampire and I are nose to nose.

"You either quiet down or I turn you to ash. You say the Scoobies owe you but I'm not done," I say a little more quietly. "Show some respect." Spike surprisingly becomes quiet and nods in acquiescence.

"I like her," he says before taking off the black leather jacket.

I begrudgingly approach to help and so does the Scoobies.

While I help take off the leather jacket, I can feel someone watching me.

I hear stepping closer to me and I turn around to face them.

It's Willow smiling and I watch her step closer to me.

"I like it when you get all protective. You don't have to but it's nice. Smoochies after this."

I smile at the promise of more kisses.

Giles comes back holding a tool in his hand that looked oddly like scissors and a bottle of amber liquid.

With his jacket off, we can clearly see where Spike was shot on his back.

"You should drink this," Giles says handing Spike the bottle.

Spike immediately takes large gulp and I wrinkle my nose at the strong smell.

I should've known it was alcohol: it could be used as an anesthetic.

Giles makes a tighter grip on the scissor like tool and starts pulling at the thing on Spike's back.

My stomach turns watching something being removed from a body even if it is technically dead.

Willow takes my hand in comfort as we try to ignore the squishing sounds of moving flesh.

Then it's over and Giles is holding a bullet that's pulsing?

"It's red," I state dumbly.

"It's blinking," Xander adds.

"The illumination of the bullet means-" Giles is interrupted. "It's a tracker," the Wiccan finishes excited. "That is bad."

"Willow, we are going to need you to do a ionizing spell."

She nods in understanding before saying "i don't mind but my magic is stronger with Briar's."

"Then do the spell with Briar. I have a book," Giles starts looking for the book but finds in on a table and opens it to the correct page.

Willow takes out the Doll's Eye and grasps my hand.

I hold onto the spell book as we read.

"Tropo, strato, meso, aero, iono, exo . . .,"We begin chanting from the book.

Willow and i ignore the talking between the two males.

"Elements are brought to bear. Wind, earth, and water churn amidst the fire. Let the air be burned."

I feel a spark and shiver at the sensation.

"Did it work?" Willow asks eagerly.

I look around and see everyone's hair is standing straight on end in tangles.

I feel nervous just thinking of my own hair right now.

"I believe it did," Giles says with a straight face and washes his glasses moves again.

How dirty are those glasses?

Xander's eyes widen into giant orbs when he sees me.

I imagine it's eye-catching seeing as I have the longest hair in the room.

"Very bride of Frankenstein," he comments.

I'm pretty sure that's not a compliment.


	20. Wiccany Magicks Lesbians

"While I admit Briar's hair is rather distracting, shouldn't someone get rid of the tracker indicating where we are?" Giles is almost yelling by the last part.

Xander jumps up and is quick to take the scissor like tool with the still beeping tracker.

"Does that happen much?" I ask Willow.

"Kinda sorta no. I mean there usually isn't a tracking beeping tracker but usually we're looking up demons to slay...you know bad demons?" She specifies seeing my eyes widen.

"What about ex-demons?" Anya demands to know from her seat. "I don't care about bad demons."

Willow stops to think.

"Ex-demons should be safe because they don't know they exist. I mean they had trackers and you don't look demon-y so I think you're of the good."

Giles walks a little closer to me and begins speaking.

"While it is a surprise to meet a...partner of Willow's, it is a one of a kind occasion to meet you. If you don't know yet, my name is Giles."

Giles extends a hand and I smile when I recognize the gesture.

I take the larger hand in mine and shake it.

"I have heard of you. Willow said you're part of the Scoobies?"

Giles smiles before nodding in agreement.

"I suppose you could say that. I used to be official Buffy's watcher but I guess you could say I'm unofficial."

Willow speaks from beside me.

"He used to be the librarian at Sunnydale High before it went kablooey."

I turn toward Willow questioning.

"Kablooey?"

Xander decides to answer that question.

"Kablooey. Big boom. Explode. You know..those types," he finishes by sitting right back on the dark couch.

"I can't say that's ever happened to me," I muse out loud.

Willow squeezes my hand and looks at me.

I really like how soft Willow's face when she looks at me.

It makes my heart beat faster in my chest looking at her fawn colored eyes.

"We are on a hellmouth. It attracts demons like crazy. This is probably a big first."

"So this means you're not having sex?" Anya randomly asks. "Cause I've had a lot of sex with boys and girls and it's a lot of fun!" She finishes with a smile.

Xander's eyes become glazed as he looks over at us.

A loud smack echoes though the room and I recoil in surprise.

"Ow," Xander whines and rubs the blushing hand print mark against his cheek.

"You can only think of us having sex not them having sex. I'm right here and I love sex!" Anya scolds him.

I bite my lip to hide my amusement.

Normally, the idea of men thinking about me sexually makes me aggressive but there seems to be nothing remotely evil about Xander.

"Don't even think about it," Willow warns and tugs my hand.

"I'm not," I say softly and make sure to be quiet. "He doesn't seem evil or disgusting just primitive but nice all the same."

Willow smiles at me and I can't help smiling in response.

"That's a new one. I don't think anyone's ever said that about Xander."

With a gentle insisting pull, I am settled on a small couch sitting close to the Wiccan.

I settle myself deeper into the cushion finding the seat very comfortable.

This couch is very comfortable.

Willow keeps her hand in mine and it feels so warm against my own hands.

I like this feeling when I'm touching her even if my stomach feels funny when we touch.

"Is the a wiccan thing? Is this a college experiment? You know I won't mind either way."

His voice is soft as he speaks to Willow.

Xander turns his head in my direction. "Are you even Wiccan?"

I can feel my eyebrows furrow in confusion at the questions and why they mattered.

Willow though is almost wide-eyed at his words but looks so calm I can feel myself relax in reaction.

"This isn't a wiccan thing," the Wiccan disagrees shaking her head. "This is a like-me-like-you thing and what does Briar being wiccan or not matter?"

Xander shrugs his shoulders.

"Magicks. Admit it. Some of those spells get a little," he makes a strange high pitched sound in his throat.

Willow blushes a red almost as bright as her fiery hair and I wonder if I'm missing something once again.

"Why are you telling us now? Why not keep it a big secret? A wiccan secret," Xander keeps questions clarifying.

"It would hurt Briar's feelings and your feelings. It would hurt everyone's feelings really. Briar would get upset and I don't like when she's upset."

At that, fawn eyes with a green rim look into my eyes and I feel myself melt like snow in sunlight.

"While I admit finding that Willow has a new...," Giles struggles to find the right word to describe me and I grin thinking I'm not the only one with that issue. "-companion and it is very...surprising," -Giles stops to clean his glasses. "I believe we should be concentrating on the Initiative."

"This is almost as important!" He argues looking completely serious. "These are real life lesbians! And not just your run of the mill lesbians but wiccany magicks lesbians!"

I glance at Willow and raise an eyebrow.

Are wiccany magicks lesbians real?

Willow answers back with wide eyes and shrugging shoulders.

"Can we focus on something on something other than them for a second please," the ex-watcher says frustrated. "No offense but we are in considerable danger right now so can we please answer this question."

The room is in complete silence with no one refusing to speak and myself too new to contribute.

"Is the Initiative safe?"

Xander asks that question everyone doesn't want to answer.

"They've been kinda helping in a way. I'm all for killing things that go bump in the night but the guys like Soldier Boy make me wonder."

"The Initiative isn't safe. The military is never of the good especially when it's in power and here it's in power. Sure. Yay, they're attacking demons? But what else are they doing to the demons? They already have Spike all good but what else can they do?" Willow asks establishing her opinion.

"Red," the almost white haired vampire almost growls at Willow. "I'm sitting bloody right here!"

I clench my teeth at the blatant disrespect of this male.

What exactly can he do?

"Sorry," the Wiccan says a little sheepish. "I mean they tried to get Big Bad Spike all good."

"We're safe. There are no demons in this room so there's nothing to worry about."

I exchange glances with Willow at the comment.

"No,"a soft feminine voice interrupts and I look up at the unexpected voice.

Her hair is a unfamiliar gold color and the woman stands in the doorway watching all of us but not seeming to see anyone at all.

"No one is safe with the Initiative."

She freezes and her hazel eyes seem almost like ice.

"Not even the Slayer."


	21. Hide and Seek

"It was raining monsters!"

The blonde who I now recognize as Willow's roommate and one of her closest friends as Buffy.

I'm sure I gave her the feel better basket to give to Willow.

Wait!

It can rain monsters?

"Hallelujah," the ex-hyena says with almost no expression on his face.

Buffy stops speaking and tilts her head in Xander's direction.

A light brown eyebrow lifts and an expression of scolding comes across the golden blonde's petite frame.

The only young male in the group shrugs obviously not feeling threatened but perhaps a little chastised.

"You asked for it," he says almost sounding petulant like a child.

Golden hazel eyes roll to the left but she opens up an apple colored mouth to continue speaking.

"Walsh tried to kill me!"

Buffy's voice raises near the end and her stoic composure lessens as shock ends.

The room is silent in the wake of her exclamation that someone tried to kill her.

My stomach feels almost heavy thinking of someone trying to kill a woman especially someone so small in stature.

I try not to even imagine the feeling if that was Willow in her place.

I even stop myself from asking what this 'Walsh' is so she can continue venting.

Giles is the first to speak and his voice is almost patronizing.

"Are you sure? Recently, you believed this woman was God incarnate."

His whole body tenses and I remember what Willow and I spoke of before.

Giles must still be sore about being left out of Initiative business.

Golden blonde hair scarcely moves as she turns towards him.

Buffy's voice is almost solemn in its seriousness.

"That was before Walsh sent me on a one way recon. It was before she gave me a gun that didn't work on purpose! The gate closed straight behind me in the sewers so I hardly doubt it was a coincidence."

Her last sentence sounds almost dry compared to how Buffy sounded at the dorm.

"In the words of your generation, I told you so."

His eyebrows rise in superiority and I imagine this must be bragging after winning.

Buffy's mouth opens as she says loudly "Giles!"

Golden brown eyes open wider at Giles's response.

His own eyes open wider at the call of his name.

"I told you I didn't trust her. I also told you to be wary of this Initiative but you were overzealous... too enthusiastic. Maybe next time you will heed what I say though enthusiasm shouldn't allude to murder."

Giles stops thinking and his dark eyebrows furrow in concentration.

"You are sure there was no forewarning?"

He questions the blonde again and I wonder what he thinks were the warning signs of the betrayal.

Buffy doesn't even stop to think before answering.

"No, it's not like she told me 'Hey, I want to kill you!' She was a little cold but I just thought that was a she-soldier scientist thing."

Her voice has raised and I wonder if maybe she should reevaluate who her friends now.

After all, Willow is a very good friend and I doubt she would kill a human.

Ever.

Xander joins in trying to pinpoint where Buffy's relationship with the military went astray.

He leans forward on the couch elbows touching his knees apparently relaxed or not very stressed at the topic of conversation.

"Why would Walsh want to kill you? Weren't you one of her best men?"

Buffy's stance relaxes as she starts to answer.

"It's not we were besties but we weren't all I-hate-you either. Sure, she gave me looks but everyone eventually does!"

Xander's voice seems almost curious when he asks:

"And Walsh's 'looks' didn't clue you in?"

Buffy is defensive when she replies.

"I always get looks. Since when do looks mean someone wants to kill me?"

Her voice raises on the last sentence.

Xander doesn't even get a choice to answer.

"Can you children calm down ?" Giles sounds instead of insulting inherently tired.

The blonde takes a deep breath before continuing.

"Walsh didn't seem to like me or hate me. I had a feeling she didn't like me for sure with getting so many glances and those pesky comments but I never thought it would go that far," she still seems shocked this 'Walsh' tried to kill her.

Giles' voice is soft as he questions Buffy.

"Do you think Riley knew about this?"

She looks up startled and I remember Willow said Buffy's dating a 'G.I. Joe.'

"No!" Her head shakes violently in denial. "Riley wouldn't do this. I know he wouldn't."

"How do you know that?"

An English accent is heard and Buffy turns in Spike's direction.

"What are you trying to say?" She sounds to be grinding her teeth together.

"This is what I'm saying. My cousin married a regurgitating Froxlax demon and still has better taste in men than you."

Spike's words are bitter and hit its target in perfect accuracy.

Buffy's face slightly recoiled at his words but she recovers so fast I almost believe I didn't see it.

Her face smoothes though and I admire Buffy for that.

"Riley is my chance at normal. He might not be superhuman but he doesn't try to kill me. He actually cares."

The last comment was meant to hurt as I feel a brief surge of sympathy for the unfortunate parasite.

"Perhaps now is a time to bind together than to separate."

I don't realize I've spoken until Buffy turns towards me.

"I am sorry someone tried to kill you."

My voice is completely sincere in its sympathy of her plight.

She draws back a little at my words seemingly surprised but smiles.

"Thank you," she says and looks back at the white haired vampire.

"See! This is what you should say! Not insult me in my bad taste in men!"

Sleeved thin arms continue to point in my direction even after her words are said.

"How is it an almost complete stranger understands not to push but you can't?"

Spike sighs as if this is tedious.

"Vampire," he says pointing to himself." Evil. I guess the blonde jokes have some merit."

Xander interrupts getting us back on point.

"Then what do we do about it?"

Her voice is completely serious as she looks all around the room.

"We need to go. Everyone grab a weapon that looks like it'd hurt!"

She herself hurries to a chest in the corner.

The wooden box doesn't even creak as it opens.

Inside there appears to be weapons.

No one moves.

"Instead of cops versus robbers, let's play soldiers vs Scoobies!" Xander says and I am sure he doesn't mean his words.

"This isn't a game," Giles mutters darkly.

His arms crossed in front of his chest in an almost defensive gesture though there is no danger in his own home at this time.

"This is serious. We have the military after us that captures the magical and wants Buffy dead. Can anyone bloody grow up?"

Buffy appears embarrassed at the chastisement when she explains her plan.

"I was thinking more of hide and seek."

Xander sighs in belief and almost sags back into the couch.

"Oh, thank God. I know a place. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm so late. I've been busy with trying to keep up my GAP. Updates won't 've regular but I'll try harder. Thanks to those that are still reading!


	22. To Sleep With Willow or To Not To

Everyone holds a weapon tight in their grasp with skin paling as white as bone.

The sun shines almost incessantly but I imagine their used to such irony when having capture or death threatened on a near daily basis.

The Scoobies must have chosen a leader as everyone looks up to the petite blond for where we go.

Buffy is at the lead much the opposite of me treading behind the group.

The tension of the humans and ex-demon are only revealed by the tight grasps on weapons the town of Sunnydale completely ignores.

How can someone hold an axe and be completely ignored like this group apparently can?

It's more obvious now than before how peculiar Sunnydale actually is.

It is harder trying to read these people to know what to do than other humans I believe.

No one is easy to understand here which leaves me in an perpetual state of confusion.

The Scoobies are tense now seemingly aching to fight but hurry to an assumed safe haven when this 'Initiative' has a habit of only attacking at night.

Fear must have overtaken them but also a need to survive which I can't help admiring.

That admiration seems to bring me to a serious question at the moment.

Why am I here?

The instantaneous answer is the Wiccan who walks beside me: my 'girlfriend'.

Willow.

This sweet babbling wiccan has me addicted to her company in a way I cannot fully comprehend.

She is my only reason for being alongside the Scoobies.

I don't really belong here.

I am a half human that doesn't even understand humans enough to masquerade as one.

How can I possibly hide with them knowing little of their customs other than what I've seen on the box with pictures?

The answer is simple.

I can't.

Swiftly, I glance toward Willow for strength in this resolve.

The sunshine turns Willow's normally ruby crown into a platinum halo which I could only too easily believe with her goodness.

Her eyes stare straight ahead turning that same unique shade of fawn that captivated me the first time we met.

I look away just as fast.

If I was looking for resolve not to go, I found none.

Still if I want to stay with Willow, I need to keep the appearance of being human even if I don't want to be alone again.

"I appreciate the gesture but I think I should go back to the dorm."

My voice is quiet almost unheard as we walk the way I need it for a private conversation.

I still don't know where exactly the destination is but I imagine it's a safe haven to hide until the Initiative is more well known.

I don't believe I should need to go though even if I desire to.

No one looks behind themselves to see us so I believe the others must not have heard me.

They are the Scoobies: in a group they step towards a common ground muttering to themselves and each others while I lag behind uncertain with Willow.

For an instant, I feel a warm hand in mine and remember the task at hand.

She tugs lightly on my hand and I stop assuming she wants more detail of why I should not go.

"Why would you be leaving? The Initiative could get you and play doctor with you like with Spike."

Willow's voice heightens with what I imagine might be worry.

"The Initiative doesn't know who I am nor where I live. At the moment I am unseen. The only reason to stay would be if you were alone but your friends are here."

My voice remains soft through this as I try to placate the both of us and I remind myself to study more English terms that are not so archaic as to be less conspicuous.

Willow's auburn brows furrow creating small wrinkles in otherwise smooth creamy skin.

"You're a Vila though. Not demon-y but definitely not human-y either. They could still catch you and I don't know how to beat the military to get you back! I can't be all G.I. Jane! I'd get you out but how do you break into the government?!"

Small rosy lips turn downwards at the corners combine with a furrowed brow to display her worry for being alone.

My own lips quirk upwards at the expression of care across the Wiccan's gentle face as my abdomen feels heavy like I've swallowed a heavy stone.

I interrupt her softly still smiling despite the odd feeling.

"I like that you worry for me even if I feel guilty for doing so," I begin. "I think if I sleepover there might be more chance to notice that I'm not fully human.."

The frown on rose pink lips stealthily deepens growing into a frown.

"There won't be," Willow tries to reassure me." Even if there was, we can tell the truth. You never slept over anyone's house before. They'll understand."

"I am unsure even though I wish I could go," I repeat myself. "It's still a risk and I don't know them."

This seems to be an argument without an end in sight.

She takes a deep breath which hides fawn brown eyes away from me as they close.

They open and her shoulders loosen their tension relaxing her face.

"Listen to me Briar because I don't think you understand. These are soldiers who don't care about demons: good or bad. They're 'fixing' them."

Willow's eyes widen in now readily apparent concern...for me.

"They fixed your white haired vampire which is good, right? My circumstances are different. They can't fix me: I'm good. At the moment, nothing is wrong."

She shakes her head softly making each sunset colored strand follow the movement.

Light brown almost hazel eyes engage me pleading for my comprehension.

I step closer toward the Wiccan that needs my full attention.

"The Initiative knows us. Briar, they've seen us," she pleads and her eyes widen further like a beacon toward my own eyes.

"They know where I am?"

My eyebrows burrow and I feel them creating a wrinkle on my otherwise smooth face.

"They might," she admits biting on a pink lip.

Abruptly, I hear footsteps coming towards us.

I recognize the short dark hair and smile as Xander: the ex-hyena and one of Willow's close friends.

"What's wrong with the happy couple?" He asks still smiling showing an array of white teeth.

I decide to be honest to a point.

"I'm not sure if I should hide away with the Scoobies."

His own thin lips purse before grinning again.

Almond shaped chocolate eyes were focused on me as he answers.

"So your problem is whether to sleep with Willow or not to sleep with Willow."

I feel like I'm missing a vital pint of this based on her opened mouth.

I look back to Xander wondering if he actually has a answer to the issue.

"Just think about, Brie. We don't mind the whole lesbian-y sleepover thing. It jus happens to wiccans."

He moves broad shoulders up and down casually to end his opinion.

I look to Willow for her reaction.

Willow's thin rosy lips are in a grin although her eyes are rolling.

Is this acceptance?

I nod at my head outnumbered.

"Fine. I will go to this 'sleepover'."

I take the redhead's slender palm in mine and follow Xander to this hideout.

When Xander is farther ahead, I cant help asking these questions.

"How do you sleep with someone and what's a sleepover?"


	23. Arw all sleepovers like this?

Our hands are entwined loosely crossed in a gentle grasp that allows me to feel her warm skin.

I try not to focus on the way each step makes on their concrete as we gather closer.

We are so close our shoulders seem to bump into each other at every footstep the other makes.

While we are silent, Sunnydale is not and I hear the slight wind blowing and the faint honk of those machines humans drive.

I hope I never have to ride in one of those contraptions.

The slight fear must show on my face as I feel more than see Willow's stare.

Her nimble fingers squeeze my hand strongly: not to hurt but to comfort.

It's very different from what I'm used to.

I like it.

The wiccan's voice pulls my gaze from our hands to her face.

Her pink lips are lifted into a small size and large captivating almost hazel eyes get my complete attention.

"Are you nervous?"

Her voice is a perfect blend of high and low with just enough sweetness to put me at ease.

I nod in confirmation at her gentle questioning.

Willow's head turns to the left to see my face completely leaving fire red strands to dangle a little past her neck.

"You don't have to be nervous, Briar. Everything'll be fine," she says this all with a smile on her face that makes me want to believe it's true. "They might be all you've-never-been-to-a-sleepover and you'll say no and Xander will say something that'll confuse you but make you smile while I watch smiling at your smile."

I can't help smiling at the exquisite detail in her prediction.

"Just like that."

Willow's smile answers mine and I watch her face become closer as we lean forward.

A small touching of lips before we draw back like having only one Hershey kiss instead of the whole bag.

I open my eyes not knowing when they closed.

"What do we do at a sleepover again? I just want to know a little more."

Willow gives me a small smile before looking at the ground and continues to walk forward.

"There's not much to worry about," slender shoulders continue to bump into mine as I feel more than see the redhead shrug her shoulders. "We'll mostly be sleeping this time, I think."

"Then will we need sleeping clothes to sleep in or will we not?"

I ask thinking of my clothes left in my dorm.

Already wide eyes open further as she realizes what we're missing.

It seems that Willow and I are not the only ones to notice we are missing something.

"What about sleeping clothes? Xander won't let me sleep naked if you all are there. He'll say we can't have sex even if I want it."

Anya announces this to the Scoobies as if this is a huge grievance on her part.

Sex must be very important to her if she feels comfortable enough to talk about it so much.

All of them except Xander and I wrinkle our noise and furrow our brows at the honesty of Anya.

I imagine I'm the only one with no response because I don't know how to respond.

Lying is bad and she told the truth so isn't that good?

If she didn't say that though it would omission which isn't lying but telling an incomplete truth.

I am getting so confused.

Giles stands right beside Buffy with his arms crossed almost leaning to the right of her.

"Yes, I did believe some of us had forgotten something."

The fierce expression on the blonde's face lessens until it disappears and I can see that same girl I gave the get well basket to for Willow.

"Yeah, we should probably do that."

Buffy says this with a sheepish expression on her face: hazel eyes appear vast with embarrassment entangled in the golden brown depths.

I feel Willow's hand still in my own as I hear her light voice.

"Briar and I will stop at my house. It's on the way."

She doesn't even give the blonde time to say anything.

This fragile human is quick to tug me along as we almost run further.

"Be careful!" is her parting words.

"We should keep sharing. I could get used to this...seeing you in my clothes."

Willow whispers this in my ear and I shiver at her breath and the feel of silken strands against my skim.

I glance back at Willow feeling my lips turn upwards into a small grin.

"Naughty," I whisper back almost inaudible.

Willow's grin is bright and make her eyes light up like the sun.

My grin upgrades into a smile and I look down at the 'pajamas' I'm borrowing.

It's my first time not wearing a skirt and I feel slightly awkward feeling the cotton against my legs.

They pool a little at my feet and the top ends at my palms not the wrist.

I imagine I don't look like I'm drowning in the pajama set designed like the night sky: blue sky with white stars all over.

Buffy seems comfortable on the other side of the couch as Willow and I sit closer to the left.

I'm supposing Xander's hideout is actually his home that's partially underground.

It's small and crowded with objects and people but it's his space not mine so I won't judge considering my dorm.

The room is quaint but most of the Scoobies are thinking or talking so it seems even more so.

"Giles, you can sleep here."

Xander says this lifting a plastic looking seat closer to the bed and sofa.

"After this, who wants to play truth or dare because I have some serious questions!" Xander announces as he sets the seat.

As he stands back upright, Giles seems to be a little agitated from such close quarters as his arms are closing close to his chest and all muscles tensed.

"I am a mature adult unlike most of the people in this room. Doesn't it seem a bit juvenile to procure a game of Truth or Dare at this moment?"

"C'mon Giles. Have a little fun."

Xander calls out to him and the older man turns raising a dark brown eyebrow.

"Fun? Fun is reading a good book with a decent cup of tea not trading secrets like a bunch of grade schoolers."

Both eyebrows raise now at the younger one's idea of fun.

Giles hastily adds another bit of knowledge to our host.

"Might I also add that I refuse to sleep in that cheap beach ball you call a chair."

He eyes the clear contraption with such loathing I think it might burst in flames.

Pity.

"What's wrong with my chair?" Xander asks loud in what I suspect is offense.

"What isn't wrong with it? What isn't wrong with this place?" Anya retorts from the bed.

The room quickly becomes a myriad of too loud voices.

I turn my head away from the scene feeling it tilt to see Willow's face in my curiosity.

"Are all sleepovers like this?"

Her fawn colored eyes look wider in either embarrassment or shock as perfectly white teeth gently bite a slim bottom lip.

"Not exactly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's near Christmas so I have an idea. I've been thinking of doing some one-shots for the followers who love Briar/Willow for the holidays but I want to know if you think I should. Give me your opinions in the poll or reviews and let me know!
> 
> P.S. It would be my Christmas present to you! If you don't want it, it's fine and let me say happy holidays!


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